Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
#6. Gabrielle Union
#7. Jessica Alba
#8. Angelina Jolie
Friends was so last decade, so what is this actress still doing looking so amazing? Now if only she'd make a movie men wouldn't mind watching. (Something with a car chase or an explosion, please.) [Update: The Bounty Hunter (2010) had car chases and explosions. Thank you.] photos
Saturday, December 5, 2009
I encourage you all to join me and my brother ninjas as we celebrate the annual "Day of the Ninja" today, December 5. Just because you can't see us doesn't mean we're not there. Go ahead, whoop it up. We've got your back.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
All of that sets them up for the even bigger threat of the Phoenix in X4. In that movie, the X-Men are at the top of their game but still unable to defeat Jean Gray, who has returned mysteriously from her apparent death at the end of X2. Now she exhibits almost god-like powers, but also a dark side to her personality that is spiraling out of control. The whole movie is about her struggle to maintain her humanity in the face of unlimited power. At the end of X4, the gentler side of Jean's personality has almost completely been lost and the "Dark Phoenix" side is in control. Finally, in a moment of clarity she realizes what she has become and has a glimpse of what the unbridled power and rage inside of her will cause her to do (basically, kill all non-mutants). She then destroys herself to save mankind.
And she stays dead. (At least until X10!)
X5 has the entire world mad at mutants and the X-Men, blaming them for the things Phoenix did. The government is considering legislation to aggressively go after mutants, while the evil mutant brotherhood returns - now led by Mystique - with a crazy plan to attack the Pentagon or something. Hello, Terminator-esque "Days of Future Past" saga - and a major role for Kitty Pride.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
- A pension of aliens
- A jake of Jedi
- A cackle of mad scientists
- A clangor of robots
- A flurry of yeti
- A vexation of zombies
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The first is titled How long will you survive when zombies over run the world? My result: "1 Year. You have survived for 1 year. You are one of the 100 people still living in the world. You are somewhat of a legend. You then die by walking over your own land mine."
The second is What would be your speciality in a zombie apocalypse? My result: "Support Specialist. Weapons of choice: Combat Shotgun, Double-barreled Hunting Shotgun, Grenades, RPG. You're best around close quarters. The team relies on you for backup and to wipe out large groups of zombies. You'll help the team push forward when you're surrounded. When there's tough enemies on the path, you'll be ready to clear them out and keep moving. Even if the zombies outnumber your squad, you still even out the odds."
Good luck to all of you.
On a related note, there's an entertaining/educational zombie article today at Cracked.com: How 7 Iconic Movie Characters Would Do In a Zombie Attack.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Look at our son, so tiny, so beautiful. Feel the soft skin of his cheeks. Hold his little hands in yours. Listen as he breathes what are still his first breaths. He is a perfect, unbelievable, amazing baby boy.
But he is so much more than just that. It is hard to tell right now, but look at him again. Can you see the rest? You have to look hard. The details are fuzzy to be sure, and you can only just catch glimpses, but it’s all there.
He has already learned to hold up his head, to crawl, to walk, to run. He has amazed us with his first words, and even more with every word since. He has learned how to shoot a basketball, how to fix a toilet, how to comfort a friend.
Can you see the look of wonder on his face as he sees his first firefly? Can you hear him describe the thrill of his first roller coaster ride? Weren’t those first few Christmases great? Don’t you wish he was still young enough to trick-or-treat?
He has already been to his first day of school. He has learned which subjects he likes and which he finds challenging. He has graduated. He has gone away to college and he has found his first real job, and quit, and found another, and still wondered what he really wants to do.
He has fallen in love. He has had his heart broken. He has fallen in love again.
I can see him years from now, looking at a photograph of himself as a baby in his mother’s arms. He can’t believe that tiny creature was ever him. Neither can I, even as I stand here and see it for myself. A baby in his mother’s arms.
And as I look real close, I again see so much more. Not just a young mother clutching her newborn infant, but a strong woman who has weathered the storms and the sunshine of her child’s youth. She has cared for him when he could not care for himself. She has fought with him and fought for him. She has taught him and she has learned from him. She has second-guessed herself and worried and struggled, but she has also felt more joy than she ever knew existed. And love. And pride.
Look again at our son. He has already wrapped his arms around you thousands of times and said, “I love you, Mom.” And your heart has leapt each time. But for now, just for now, while he is all potential and promise, you still get to live every one of those times for the first time.
And come what may, he will always be your perfect, unbelievable, amazing baby boy.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tipped off about an imminent zombie attack, the University of Florida responded by implementing a comprehensive zombie invasion disaster plan. The plan was briefly posted to the university's website, but immediately removed as part of a government cover-up.
The U.S. government declared war on the moon. NASA immediately issued an unlikely cover-up story about searching for water on the moon.
A cow was abducted by a flying saucer in Argentina in broad daylight. With a subsequent scientific analysis proving that a cow was indeed abducted by aliens, a cover-up story will surely be forthcoming...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
You see, I am reasonably certain that the zombie apocalypse has already come and gone - the mutant zombie overlords are already in control, and somehow I missed the whole thing.
I say this because everywhere I turn I see zombies: people whose lethargic, apathetic demeanor leaves little doubt that they have lost all capacity for human emotion or motivation. The world around me has become a shuffling collection of beings with no apparent dreams or desires, no purpose in life but to slowly melt and devour my brain.
I notice it especially when I am driving. Detroit used to be the Motor City - a place where the goal of everyone on the road was to go as fast as possible, and where we had developed a cooperative system to do just that. We worked together to ensure that everyone got where they were going with as little to interrupt their progress as possible. People would change lanes to allow cars to merge onto the freeway, or to allow faster cars to pass.
Now I see people regularly driving ten under in the fast lane with no acknowledgment of the chaos accumulating in their wake. I see them straddling the line between lanes, either unable to decide which they prefer or all together oblivious to the concept of lanes to begin with. And I see them blowing through yield signs or changing lanes blindly with the express intent to kill me.
I don't think I'm being paranoid here. Other examples abound. At Kohl's a few days ago, I saw a free shopping cart and asked a group of women standing near it if it belonged to one of them. I said this in a friendly tone and with a smile on my face, but my inquiry was met with silence. They just stared at me with cold, dead, unfeeling eyes.
At the ice arena the other day, a boy walking by accidentally hit me in the head with his hockey stick. When his stick met resistance, he turned and stared at me with a blank expression. "Oops!" I said, laughing to put him at ease, "Be careful there!" he just stood there and stared at me, as did the adults with him, then they turned silently and left, no apology or empathy to be found in the bunch.
Those blank expressions are becoming commonplace everywhere: work, restaurants, even on the streets of my neighborhood. When I pass people, I always smile and make eye contact. Increasingly, no one smiles back. Zombies. When I hold the door open behind me for the next fellow, no one ever reaches out to grab it or says "thank you" - they just walk right by. Zombies. When I try to track down some frustratingly elusive piece of information at work, my coworkers just shrug and put their heads back down. Zombies. I used to have intelligent conversations with people about important topics, but now all anyone can do is repeat back to me the latest nonsensical rantings of Glenn Beck or Keith Olbermann. Zombies.
I don't know how many other survivors there are, but if you're still out there stay strong! We non-zombies may be in the minority now, but we're people too. In time, we may find a way to survive under our zombie overlords, and maybe - just maybe - turn the tides once more.
There are others like you still out there, so don't give up hope! Keep dreaming, keep caring and be on the lookout for other survivors. We'll be the ones smiling, using our turn signals, and not trying to eat your brains.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
With all of that in mind, it’s time for the real men to stand up and show what they’re made of. It’s time to cowboy up and get back in touch with our primal roots. Let’s order our steaks rare. Let’s fix something with power tools.
And most importantly, let’s grow beards.
Yes, that’s right, it’s time for men to prove they’re men in the one indisputable way they can: by doing nothing and letting nature make the case for them.
It doesn’t take any particular skill to grow a beard – just a Y chromosome and the willingness to embrace your inner caveman.
As an added benefit, your face will thank you as the weather gets cooler. By the time you’re in that deer blind in mid-November, you’ll have a built-in scarf keeping you warm.
Personally, I plan to carve my beard into mutton chops at the end of October. Just think of the possibilities for Halloween: fat Elvis, Civil War general, Wolverine, you name it.
I have thrown down the gauntlet: are you man enough to accept the challenge? Grow a beard or watch October pass you by.
It’s just one month. One month to prove once and for all you’re a man. What have you got to lose?
(Join the movement on Facebook here. Learn more about beards here.)
Monday, September 28, 2009
Glenmorangie Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky, 10 Years Old
Glenmorangie Distillery, Scotland
43% vol. / 86 proof
- Back story: Glenmorangie is a classic Highland malt: a delicate, fragrant, highly drinkable spirit of subtle complexity. The Glenmorangie distillery’s secret is hand-crafting of their own casks from carefully selected American white oak.
- Nose: bright and fruity; apple cider; one taster said it smelled "like an apple orchard."
- Taste: A wonderful cornucopia of tastes dance across the palette: crisp apples are here as expected, but also citrus, almonds, sourdough bread, spices and a barely noticeable hint of smoke.
- Finish: Crisp yet complex; fresh fruit yields to oak.
- Food pairing: A square of 72% cacao Ghirardelli dark chocolate complemented this whiskey very well; the bittersweet chocolate comes alive in the mouth, and the next sip of whiskey takes on a new, intriguing quality. The 60% cacao Ghirardelli was also good, but did not suit the whiskey quite as well.
- Final verdict: This is a supremely easy to drink single malt. Those in our group that were not accustomed to single malts still struggled with its complexity, but if you like Scotch this one strikes a nice balance. Four stars **** (recommended).
Ardbeg Single Islay Malt Scotch Whisky, 10 Years Old
Ardbeg Distillery, Scotland
46% vol. / 92 proof
- Back story: Ardbeg hails from the island of Islay (EYE-luh), which is known for its smoky, heavily peated single malts. Along with its Islay neighbors Laphroaig and Lagavulin, it is has one of the most intense flavors of any Scotch. Give the aroma of this time to sink in before sipping, and prepare yourself for a full-on assault of complex flavors. This whiskey is not for the faint of heart, but can be extraordinarily rewarding for those who give it time.
- Nose: "liquid campfire" is how I describe Ardbeg and its Islay cousins. There is a sweetness behind the smoke, though, as well as a bit of saltiness.
- Taste: it tastes like it smells! Sweet but sooty, like barbecue sauce that has crisped and burned on the edge of the meat. Hidden underneath is sweet cookie and spice. And smoke, smoke, smoke.
- Finish: Smoke, of course, then salt and baked fruit, a long stretch of grassy peat, and finally a breeze of salty sea air.
- Food pairing: I brought out some "Scottish style" smoked salmon to go with this, and it was a match made in heaven. Whiskey actually pairs very well with fish in general. (The pairing of Japanese single malt and sushi is inspired.) Because this whiskey was so smokey, the salmon didn't even taste smoked, but it did taste absolutely delicious!
- Final verdict: I had previously tried the 16-year old Lagavulin (the king of smoke) and the 10-year old Laphroaig (the king of peat). This is a nice balance between those two, and is much sweeter than I expected. It is an acquired taste, but if you like peated whiskey, I strongly recommend the Ardbeg. Four stars **** (recommended).
The Macallan Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky, 18 Years Old
The Macallan Distillery, Scotland
43% vol. / 86 proof
- Back story: After we had finished tasting the eight whiskeys I had selected, I pulled aside the seasoned whiskey drinkers for a special treat. Aged exclusively in European oak casks seasoned with sherry, the 18-year old Macallan is widely considered the standard when it comes to single malts. Macallan is one of the most detail-oriented distillers, and it shows in the results of this incredible whiskey.
- Nose: deep, rich, oakey and sweet. You can detect the sherry, as well as fruitcake, plums and raisins.
- Taste: smooth and incredibly deep. The sherry is here and so is the strong presence of the malt and the wood. Grapes and figs emerge on top of a swirl of other complex flavors. One of the tasters called it: "overwhelming - in a good way!"
- Finish: gloriously long - take a small sip and enjoy it for minutes afterwards. Faint citrus notes appear (tangerine and orange peel), as well as cocoa and plum. Nothing overwhelms on the finish: it just lingers and evolves magnificently.
- Food pairing: for God's sake, don't ruin your palette with food if you're drinking this!
- Final verdict: This is heavenly, and still the best whiskey I've ever tasted. Even the seasoned whiskey drinker that doesn't usually like single malt Scotch gave this one its due. It is an undeniable classic. Five stars ***** (must have).
In the end, my whiskey tasting was a success and we tasted some fine drams. Again, though, it had more to do with the people than the whiskey, so a special thanks to all my guests. I'm looking forward to the next one!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Crown Royal Special Reserve Blended Canadian Whisky
Crown Royal Distillery, Gimli, Manitoba, Canada
40% vol. / 80 proof
- Back story: Canadian whisky blends rye and other whiskeys with relatively neutral base spirits, producing a crisp, easy to drink blend. The standard Crown Royal blend is the most popular Canadian whiskey sold in the U.S. This “Special Reserve” bottling is an older blend with remarkable depth.
- Nose: very light rye, backed with buttery toffee.
- Taste: the rye spiciness is there, but it is much lighter and comes with a caramel sweetness and faint fruit and oak overtones. This is by far the mellowest whiskey we tried.
- Finish: crisp and very short - the strong bitter finish of the American rye is missing, but that’s not necessarily a good thing. I miss the complexity of that long, interesting finish.
- Food pairing: I did a Google search and came up with Camembert cheese as a possible match for this whiskey. It turned out to be far too mild and was completely overpowered by the whiskey taste. Considering this was itself a mild whiskey, I believe Camembert lovers should stick with wine.
- Final verdict: This would be a perfect whiskey for mixing (the Canadian tradition is “rye and ginger” - mixing this kind of whiskey with Canada Dry ginger ale). By itself, it is still pretty good and much deeper than most Canadian whiskeys I've tried, but it still disappoints on the finish. Three stars *** (worth trying).
Powers Gold Label Irish Whiskey, A Blend
Irish Distillers Group, Middleton, County Cork, Ireland
40% vol. / 80 proof
- Back story: Powers is the most popular whiskey in its native Ireland. The distinct, “pot still” character of Irish whiskey comes from combining malted and unmalted barley together before fermentation, and then triple-distilling the resulting spirit in a traditional, labor-intensive pot still. Like most modern Irish whiskeys, Powers is a blend (pure pot still whiskey is blended with column-distilled grain whiskey for a lighter, crisper taste), but it retains a strong pot still character.
- Nose: the distinct smell of Irish pot still whiskey: nutty, leathery and buttery.
- Taste: well-rounded and robust, balancing honey, spices and flax. It is very, very tasty.
- Finish: a wonderful sweet-and-sour finish; long but mellow.
- Food pairing: Being an Irish whiskey, I decided to pair this with Dubliner cheese. The cheese turned out to be far too strong for the whiskey; they were both delicious, so I would not call it a bad pairing, but the cheese eradicated the whiskey flavor on contact. (Delicious cheese, by the way: if you haven't tried it, do so!)
- Final verdict: I still prefer pure pot still Irish whiskey (like Redbreast) to blends, but this blend is closer to that than any other I've tried. It is a winner. Four stars **** (recommended).
William Grant’s Family Reserve Blended Scotch Whisky
William Grant & Sons Limited, Dufftown, Banffshire, Scotland
40% vol. / 80 proof
- Back story: the practice of blending traditional malt whiskey with column-distilled grain whiskey began in the mid-1800s. The result not only increased capacity, but created a lighter, more consistent spirit that appealed to a broader spectrum of drinkers. Today 90% of all Scotch sales are blends. While blends are often looked down upon as inferior, in fact the best blends are every bit as complex and rewarding as single malts. Grant’s is a fine example.
- Nose: familiar Scotch aromas of malt and peat, but faint and buoyed by floral, fruity scents (apples and apricots).
- Taste: a wonderful mix of sweet honey, crisp fruit and smoky peat.
- Finish: mild but long, and well-balanced between the crisp snap of grain and the multi-layered complexity of malt.
- Food pairing: we tried this with a five-year old Boerenkaas cheese from Morgan & York. It was an inspired choice: the Dutch cheeses seem tailor-made for whiskey!
- Final verdict: this is a wonderful blend, one of the best I’ve tasted. It has a clear Scotch character, and yet is smooth enough to be appreciated by those not partial to single malts. If you like Johnnie Walker Black, give this a try some time. Four stars **** (recommended).
To be continued... (next time: single malts)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I decided early on that I wanted to cover the broadest range possible: this was a "world of whiskey" tasting that covered every major style. I selected eight bottles - one each of Tennessee, bourbon, rye, Canadian, Irish and blended Scotch, plus two very different single malt Scotches. I had not tasted any of the eight before, so they were as new to me as they were to my guests.
That would have been the extent of it - eight whiskeys and maybe some water - but fortunately I have good people in my life who gave me advice on how to throw a good party. My girlfriend, in particular, saved me. (She is dynamite!) She helped me plan the food and seating and decor. Together, we also selected a variety of food pairings that seemed like they might work with each whiskey.
Here is what happened...
- Back story: Jack Daniel’s defines the “Tennessee Whiskey” category, and its popular “Old No. 7” bottling is well known even to non-whisky drinkers. Like all Tennessee whiskey, it is made primarily from corn and slowly leached through sugar maple charcoal before being aged, resulting in a cleaner spirit going into the wood. Unlike Old No. 7, which is blended for consistency from various casks, this bottling is taken from a single, hand-picked barrel of distinct, “particularly flavorful and aromatic” whiskey. The result is a complex, full bodied whiskey with great harmony and a pronounced sweetness.
- Nose: very sweet with hints of maple syrup, ginger ale and burnt buttered toast; also a pronounced, almost medicinal alcohol smell.
- Taste: with a high alcohol percentage there is an immediate kick and heat here. This is closer to bourbon than the normal Jack Daniel's with a spicy sweetness right out front. It also has a woody bitterness that reminded me of burnt barbecue sauce.
- Finish: short and sweet, followed by a hint of bitter, medicinal alcohol (one taster compared it to Listerine) and burning matches.
- Food pairing: we paired this one with savory sausage meatballs in a sweet barbecue sauce. Everyone thought it was a good match and the whiskey became much more palatable after the meatballs.
- Final verdict: this is not a subtle whiskey, but what it lacks in depth it makes up for in attitude. Put on some Skynyrd and fire up the grill: this is a party in a glass and perfect for a summer barbecue. Three stars *** (worth trying).
Eagle Rare Single Barrel Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, Aged 10 Years
Buffalo Trace Distillery, Frankfort, Kentucky
45% vol. / 90 proof
- Back story: bourbon is America’s whiskey and is the dominant U.S. style on the market today. Popular brands include Jim Beam, Wild Turkey and Maker’s Mark. There are also many handcrafted, “small batch” bourbons on the market, such as the astonishingly expressive Eagle Rare. Like all bourbons, it is made from at least 51% corn and aged in new, charred white oak barrels.
- Nose: soft and sweet; honey and bananas, with a hint of the bittersweet spiciness of rye; a complex and delightful aroma.
- Taste: much bolder than expected, with strong corn flavors upfront: spicy and very sweet with a bit of vanilla. Some rye adds nice balance in the background.
- Finish: the bittersweet rye flavors really comes into their own in the finish, which is long and wonderful.
- Food pairing: we matched this one with (gluten free) oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It was a good match. The cookie taste helped mellow the spiciness and kick of the whiskey, and bourbon really made the chocolate chips pop.
- Final verdict: this seems halfway between a bourbon and a rye to me and offers the best of both worlds. It is a solid, richly rewarding whiskey at an affordable price, and belongs in every bourbon lover's cabinet. Four stars **** (recommended).
- Back story: rye whiskey is noted for its bold, bittersweet taste with touches of spice and mint. Before bourbon became ubiquitous, rye was the dominant whiskey in the United States. Sazerac represents a return to that tradition.
- Nose: one taster described the smell as "bitter," but there is a sweetness here too. Subtle rye spiciness mingles with blackberry jam; delicious.
- Taste: wow, there is a lot going on here, starting with a clean, sweet fruitiness and then bold spices.
- Finish: this is a lively finish, with spiciness turning to a dry bitterness. You either like rye or you don't , and this is the point where we found out who belongs in which group. I personally like it. Yes, the finish is somewhat bitter, but it is full of character. Unlike the Jack Daniel's earlier, if you like rye this is a whiskey to savor.
- Food pairing: we matched the Sazerac with an 18-month old imported Gouda from Morgan & York. While it didn't click in the same way as the first two food pairings, it was still a pleasant match. The cheese was delicious and had enough full bodied flavor to hold its own with the whiskey. (I've had this cheese with single malt Scotches as well: it is a solid choice to pair with well balanced, full-flavored whiskeys.)
- Final verdict: I'm torn on whether or not this is the best rye I've tasted to date, but it's damn good in any case. It is distinct and fresh, and very well balanced. I'm on board with rye whiskey, and I will be drinking this again. Four stars **** (recommended).
To be continued... (next time: blends)
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
With that in mind, I went searching for more of the same. This is what I discovered:
- January 24 - Global Belly Laugh Day
- January 30 - Draw a Dinosaur Day
- February 14 - Horny Werewolf Day (apparently, Valentine's Day has some pagan origins...)
- March 1 - Alien Robot Zombie Day (OK, I just made that one up, but use the opportunity to celebrate quasi-science and pseudo-history)
- March 32 - April Fools' Day
- April 11 - Superhero Day
- April 22 - Vampire Day (Eve of St. George's Day in Romania)
- May 25 - Universal Day of the Jedi (a.k.a. Star Wars Day) and also Towel Day (from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
- June 28 - National Paul Bunyan Day
- July 1 - Universal Yeti Day
- July 2 - World UFO Day (in honor of the July 2, 1947 Roswell Incident)
- July 25 - National Day of the American Cowboy
- August 4 - Robot Pride Day
- September 19 - International Talk Like A Pirate Day
- September 22 - Hobbit Day
- October 8 - National Fluffernutter Day
- October 9 - Viking Day (a.k.a. Leif Erikson Day)
- Second Saturday in October - World Zombie Day
- October 30 - Devil's Night (a Detroit special)
- November 3 - Godzilla Day
- November 17 - Wookiee Life Day
- December 5 - Day of the Ninja
- December 23 - Festivus
If you know of any other fun, whimsical holidays, please leave a comment!
Friday, September 18, 2009
#1. Captain Jack Sparrow
The first movie in the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise was a five-star surprise in 2003, and while the sequels have not been as good, they have still been essential viewing if only for Johnny Depp's superb portrayal of the eccentric, tricky Captain Jack. No matter how dire the situation, you can be assured that Captain Jack will find a way out - and make you laugh in the process! (Geoffrey Rush is also fantastic throughout the films as rival pirate Captain Barbossa.)
#2. Captain Hook
Scottish playwright James M. Barrie created a masterpiece when he created the Peter Pan story in 1904. The story has taken many different forms as it has been told throughout the years, but no matter the telling, Pan's arch nemesis is always Captain Hook. The 1953 Walt Disney movie version of Hook may be the most well known, but he is such a classic literary character that he lends himself to good storytelling regardless of the media. Yes, he is evil, yet he is handsome and elegant and strangely sympathetic. And he has a legitimate reason for hating Peter Pan, who cut off his hand and fed it to a crocodile!
#3. Long John Silver
From Robert Louis Stevenson's classic novel Treasure Island comes one of the greatest pirate characters- and pirate names - of all time. Want to know where the traditions of peg legs and pet parrots come from? Look no further. Besides being larger than life throughout the novel (ans subsequent movie adaptations), Long John Silver lent his name to an awesome fried fish fast-food restaurant. (As a side note, I traveled to Singapore last year and was amazed to see a Long John Silver's restaurant on every corner. There are 31 of them there - more than any other city in the world.)
#4. Pittsburgh Pirates
Of all the pirate-themed teams in sports (which includes the Oakland Raiders, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, etc.), the Pittsburgh Pirates have the most history, tradition and claim to piracy. They are one of the oldest Major League Baseball teams, originally founded in 1876. In 1891, they took the name "Pirates" to make light of accusations that they signed away players from rival leagues. The name stuck. They have gone on to win five World Series (1909, 1925, 1960, 1971 and 1979) and have been the home of dozens of Hall of Fame players, including Honus Wagner 1900-1917) and Roberto Clemente (1955-1972). They have also historically featured a unique uniform style and a rabid fan base, and in 2001 they opened a fantastic new stadium.
#5. The Dread Pirate Roberts
The Princess Bride is an all-time classic book and movie. The legend of the Dread Pirate Roberts is both an integral part of the story and one of the best pirate tales ever spun. ("Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.") The Dread Pirate Roberts manages to defeat brains, brawn and skill, but in the end it is "true love" that saves the day.
#6. Captain Morgan
Sir Henry Morgan was one of the most famous and dangerous pirates in the Caribbean during the 17th Century, and blah blah blah. All that matters is that his name and legend were adopted by the world's most popular brand of spiced rum. With a killer logo, slogan ("Got a little Captain in You?") and television ads, Captain Morgan rum has made it cool to be a pirate again. Well, a drunken pirate anyway.
Another real-life pirate of the Caribbean, Blackbeard (real name Edward Teach) has gone on to be the most famous pirate name of all. He was a legend in his own time, and that legend has continued to grow throughout the years. He has made cameos in such classic fictional works as Treasure Island and Peter Pan (Captain Hook was said to have been his boatswain), and continues to do so to this day. When I asked my six-year-old who his favorite pirate was, he immediately answered, "Blackbeard." When I asked where he'd heard of Blackbeard, he said, "Johnny Test, of course!"
#8. The Pirates Of Penzance
If you haven't seen this Gilbert and Sullivan musical, do so. It opened in 1879 and has continued to be a popular production ever since. It concerns Frederic, a boy who through a misunderstanding becomes an apprentice to a band of pirates. He is bound to serve them until his 21st birthday, but upon turning 21 he learns that he was born on Leap Year Day, so technically he has only had five actual birthdays and must continue to serve the pirates until old age. It is a funny play and contains some wonderful musical numbers ("I am the very model of a modern Major-General").
#9. The Ice Pirates
A campy 1984 Star Wars rip-off starring Robert Urich, The Ice Pirates has become a cult classic. It is very goofy and low-budget, but entertaining. It's biggest contribution, however, was putting pirates in space - where they belong!
#10. Ol' Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy
In 1995, John Baur and Mark Summers were playing racquetball in Albany, Oregon when one of them got hurt and yelled out, "Aaaaaarrrrr!" And thus International Talk Like A Pirate Day was born. The event, which is celebrated every September 19, rocketed to prominence when humorist Dave Barry mentioned it in a 2002 column. "Ol' Chumbucket" (Baur) and "Cap'n Slappy" (Summers) have continued to promote the holiday, and deserve credit for proving without a doubt that everyone likes to talk like a pirate.
Honorable mention: Eugene H. Krabs
Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob SquarePants' boss at the Krusty Krab may not be a pirate, but there is no character on television today that sounds more like one.
Honorable mention: Pirate Party
This is a real political party in Sweden, founded with a goal of reforming copyright and patent laws. Whatever their political beliefs may be, any group that would name themselves "Pirate Party" is OK with me. Also, check out their cool logo, which mimics a pirate ship sail!
The flip side: worst pirates
Modern-day Somali pirates aren't fun at all - and they don't even talk like pirates! (Boooooooo! Hissssssss!)
Finally, here is a great online guide to talking like a pirate. Enjoy the holiday!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Anyway, these guys recently recorded a cover of Coldplay's 2000 hit "Yellow." Now Coldplay's version was absolutely brilliant - four and a half absolutely perfect minutes of music. It was one of my favorite songs of 2000, and is still a favorite. So I do not say this lightly...
Note To Self's version is better.
I know, I know, you're going to claim I'm not objective on this one. But I have played it for a few people now - without any discussion beforehand - and they have all had the same reaction. Listen and download the song here and you be the judge!
Note To Self takes the song in a looser, rougher direction than Coldplay. It has a demo feel to it, seeming at times like a jam session that could unravel at any moment, but that approach works remarkably well, opening up a warmth and intimacy unseen in the original. The earthy, bluesy interaction between acoustic and electric guitar gives it an Americana feel, while a strong, funky drum beat keeps the song buoyant and chugging along.
It is the voices, however, that provide the glue that holds it all together. The band's two singers take turns on lead vocals, with the other pitching in wonderful harmonies. Again, there is a distinctly DIY element to the singing, but that's not meant to imply rough edges. Note To Self's trademark sweetness is there in spades, combining an edgy, alternative rock feel with an underlying, exuberant joy. From the opening call ("One, two, three, here we go!"), my heart just leaps when I hear this recording.
The highlight comes with just under a minute remaining in the song, when someone yells "Everybody now!" in the background and additional voices join in, singing along and then clapping. It is exactly what I feel like doing as the listener! It is the musical equivalent of a group hug, and it sounds and feels incredible. A single voice emerges to sing a couple more lines as the clapping and crowd noises dissipate, and the song fades to a single, quiet drum beat.
P.S. - In case you're wondering: yes, it feels good to scoop Pitchfork.