Most anticipated splody movies of 2005: recap

I have now posted my 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007 and 2006 "most anticipated" movie lists. You would think that would be enough, but no. Here is how well I did at predicting the movies to see in 2005.

For reference, critic scores from Rotten Tomatoes are also included for each film. As usual, my formula for success is equal parts good character development and explosions.

1. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 80%). The best film of the hit-or-miss Star Wars prequel trilogy. I'm still not a fan of the way George Lucas dumbed down the franchise, or the bluntly dark tone he took at the end of this film, but while they're not in the same league as the original trilogy, the prequels are still plenty entertaining, and this one in particular has some really good action.

2. Batman Begins

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 85%). Not perfect, mind you, but director Christopher Nolan's take on Batman is still the best to date.

3. King Kong

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 84%). This got great reviews, but I didn't think it quite lived up to the hype. It was entertaining, but not as memorable as it should have been. Maybe the 1933 version still works best because this is a story that was written around the visual effects that were possible at that time; adding CGI is overkill. Watch this 2005 version if you get the chance, but more importantly watch the original, which will never be topped.

4. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 76%). I actually find this C.S. Lewis story rather ham-handed. (The man was no Tolkien.) But the performances were charming and the digital effects brilliant. the next two films in the series were also good, but never quite reached the heights this one did.

5. Fantastic Four

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 27%). No, no, no, no, no. This is the superhero team that changed comic books in the 1960s with three-dimensional characters and some of the freshest, most fascinating sci-fi stories ever told. You can't do this to them. What should have been on my list: Serenity (Tomatometer 81%). This is how an ensemble is done. When cult favorite TV show Firefly was cancelled prematurely, creator Joss Whedon made this movie to wrap up the loose ends - and go out in style.

6. War of the Worlds

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 74%). Sigh. Alien invasions used to be so much more fun. What should have been on my list: Kung Fu Hustle (Tomatometer 90%). Because sure, why not? Everybody loves kung fu!!!

7. Sin City

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 78%). Based on a comic book, this series of loosely connected, gritty crime stories is a comic book come to life in breathtaking visual style.

8. Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 58%). Take Angelina Jolie, add a few memorable lines and some rudimentary action, and you have something I'll watch.

9. The Island

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 40%). Take Scarlett Johansson, add... Wait, that's it? Never mind. What should have been on my list: Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior (Tomatometer 85%). This martial arts adventure movie from Thailand was every kind of awesome.

10. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 84%). This only made my list because I had a slight man-crush on Robert Downey, Jr. and I'd been waiting for Val Kilmer to make another memorable movie since Tombstone. It was less splody than I thought it would be, but absolutely thrilling and wickedly funny in a twisted kind of way. I now have a big man-crush on Downey and I'm waiting for Kilmer to make another memorable movie since Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.

Final tally for my 2009 predictions: six winners, three losers and one that was just so-so.

Most anticipated splody movies of 2006: recap

I have already posted my 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008 and 2007 "most anticipated" movie lists. Here is how well I did at predicting the movies to see in 2006. (For reference, critic scores from Rotten Tomatoes are also included for each film.) As usual, my formula for success is equal parts good character development and explosions.

1. X-Men: The Last Stand

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 57%). The loss of original series director Bryan Singer for the last installment of the trilogy was a major blow. All of the action remains, but without the emotional center that kept the two prior films from being ridiculous. This is the biggest let-down in superhero movie history. What should have been on my list: Pan's Labyrinth (Tomatometer 95%). This Spanish-language, surrealistic nightmare fantasy from director Guillermo del Toro was both creepy and beautiful, and I found it fascinating.

2. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 54%). After a priceless first outing, this franchise has lost its luster. This isn't a terrible movie, and there are some really good parts to it - especially the new Davy Jones character - but overall it's disappointing.

3. Superman Returns

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 76%). I have a love-hate relationship with Superman and his movies. Here it was mostly hate. Bryan "I-left-the-superhero-franchise-i-was-good-at-to-make-this-drivel" Singer gives us a boring, depressing version of the superest of all superheroes, and the poor plot and outright stupid subplots don't help. Critics may have liked the moodier, artsier take on the character, but any true Superman fan will hate this as much as the Superman III and IV. What should have been on my list: Children of Men (Tomatometer 93%). This is a film where gray and depressing worked, a story about living in a dystopian future England.

4. Casino Royale

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 94%). Daniel Craig's first go as James Bond is grittier than we've ever seen the franchise be before - perhaps as a reaction to the Bourne series - and I liked it. the story was good, the acting was great and the action was spectacular.

5. The Departed

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 93%). Martin Scorsese once again proves his mettle with this intense crime drama. Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio give great performances as undercover gangster and cop, respectively.

6. V for Vendetta

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 73%). I really didn't know what I was getting with this, just that it looked intriguing. What I got was a fascinating story about strange freedom fighters in a dystopian future England (a popular theme in 2006, apparently) that kept twisting and turning in unexpected and fairly brutal ways.

7. Mission: Impossible III

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 70%). The action was pretty good, but at this point in the Tom Cruise-led spy series, I still hadn't seen anything that I would want to see again.

8. Miami Vice

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 47%). Poor Tubbs rolled over in his grave. What should have been on my list: The Prestige  (Tomatometer 76%). As of early 2012, this is my least favorite Christopher Nolan film - but that just shows how good the director is. This tale of competitive magicians is slow in places, but also has some real shockers.

9. Snakes on a Plane

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 68%). OK, the marketing got me on this one. Luckily, I didn't pay to see it. It boiled down to a great title and one really good line from Samuel L. Jackson. What should have been on my list: Slither  (Tomatometer 85%). An underappreciated b-movie horror starring cult-favorite Nathan Fillion and something scarier than snakes on a plane.

10. Crank

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 61%). The premise here is great: a man is injected with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate slows down - which leads to non-stop, adrenaline inducing action. The execution doesn't always work, but it's still an entertaining ride and worth watching at least once for the pure ridiculous energy.

Final tally for my 2006 predictions: three winners, four losers and three that were just so-so.

Most anticipated splody movies of 2007: recap

I have already posted my 2011, 2010, 2009 and 2008 "most anticipated" movie lists. Continuing to work my way backwards through my notes, here are my predictions from 2007. Note that unlike later years, through 2007 I was only doing "top ten" lists, not "top dozen" ones.

For reference, critic scores from Rotten Tomatoes are also included for each film. As usual, my formula for success is equal parts good character development and explosions.

1. Transformers

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 57%). Yes, the story would have been better, but this is the only film of the franchise that has at least been passable in the script department. And with giant, shape-shifting alien robots battling, what else do you need?

2. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 45%). The first PotC movie was great, the second was passable and this one was just frustratingly poor. What should have been on my list: 3:10 to Yuma (Tomatometer 88%). This was a pretty enjoyable western with great performances by Russel Crowe and Christian Bale.

3. Spider-Man 3

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 63%). half of t6his movie matched the first two installments in action and thrills. Unfortunately, the other half was a parody of itself, killing what had been an enjoyable series.

4. 300

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 59%). This got mixed reviews, but if you're an action movie fan, you can ignore the naysayers. It was visually breathtaking and full of enough action and memorable moments to make you overlook the rather thin story.

5. The Bourne Ultimatum

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 94%). All three of Matt Damon's Jason Bourne movies were incredible - the best spy series since Sean Connery's James Bond movies. This final chapter is probably the best of the trilogy.

6. No Country for Old Men

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 95%). The Coen Brothers (Joel and Ethan) have made some amazing movies (Fargo) as well as some stinkers (Burn After Reading). Count this at-times-funny, at-times-bloody thriller in the former group.

 7. Hot Fuzz

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 91%). The team that gave us Shaun of the Dead - Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and director Edgar Wright - brings us another action/comedy gem, this time about a British cop who gets more than he bargained for when he transfers to a small town.
 
8. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 37%). To be honest, I didn't have much hope for this one since the original had been so bad, but I thought there was an outside chance it would improve - after all, the Silver Surfer is awesomely cool. But no, it didn't. What should have been on my list: Live Free or Die Hard (Tomatometer 82%). The Die Hard franchise should have been played out by now, but this fourth film was the best since the original, good shoot-'em-up entertainment.

9. I Am Legend

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 69%). I repeat: I love Will Smith. However, his films have gotten too formulaic. Producers need to stop treating him with kid gloves and start taking some chances. This post-zombie-apocalypse movie was kind of cool and could have been a winner, but the ending was spineless, as they did away with the thought-provoking original ending and instead gave it the standard Hollywood treatment. The result was supremely meh. You can see the intended ending on the DVD and it is so much better it hurts. Hollywood has been mulling a sequel for this one; it doesn't deserve it.

10. Ghost Rider

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 26%). Ghost Rider is a super-powered, demonic skeleton who rides a flaming motorcycle to hunt down bad guys. How can you go wrong with that premise? This is how. What should have been on my list: Grindhouse (Tomatometer 83%). The last team-up I saw from directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, From Dusk Till Dawn, left me cold. This double feature tribute to b-movie, however, was pure pulp magic: a zombie apocalypse feature from Rodriguez (Planet Terror) and a psychotic carsploitation classic from Tarantino (Death Proof), with a some superbly ridiculous fake movie trailers in between (one of which was later turned into an actual film, Machete).

Final tally for my 2007 predictions: 5 winners, 3 losers and 2 movies that were just so-so.

Most anticipated splody movies of 2008: recap

I have already posted my 2011, 2010 and 2009 "most anticipated" movie lists. And just when you thought it was over, here is how well I did at predicting the movies to see in 2008. (For reference, critic scores from Rotten Tomatoes are also included for each film.) As usual, my formula for success is equal parts good character development and explosions.

1. The Dark Knight

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 94%). Christopher Nolan showed he knew how to make a good Batman movie with Batman Begins, but it was Heath Ledger's haunting performance as the Joker that made TDK the best Batman movie ever.

2. Iron Man

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 94%). This was my favorite of the year and one of my favorite movies of all time. It perfectly straddled the line: it was fantastic enough to wow us, and down to earth enough for us to connect with it. Robert Downey, Jr. was a big part of the reason: his portrayal of Tony Stark/Iron Man showed amazing depth and a wicked sense of humor. The cool gadgets and effects didn't hurt either.

3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 77%). Yes, it was a sharp drop-off from The Last Crusade, and we could all use a little less Shia LaBeouf in our lives, but the latest Indiana Jones chapter was still tremendously fun to watch.

4. Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 87%). Hellboy was a movie I never thought would get a sequel, but thank goodness it did. Director Guillermo del Toro's bizarre vision and fantastic design made this installment even stranger - and more wonderful - than its predecessor. Highly recommended for fans of fantasy, monster and superhero movies.

5. Quantum of Solace

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 64%). It wasn't terrible, but it was boring compared to Daniel Craig's first James Bond movie, Casino Royale. I watched it, but I really can't remember much about it. Yawn.

6. WALL-E

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 96%). It wasn't quite Pixar's best, but it was close. This little-robot-that-could movie manages to capture and hold your attention with hardly any dialogue - just lovable characters, grand adventure and tremendous animation.

 7. Cloverfield

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 77%). This new take on the giant monster movie makes great use of the "found footage" approach to create a suspenseful and downright thrilling movie.

8. Wanted

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 71%). This movie about high-powered assassins hooked me with Angelina Jolie, but it was James McAvoy who stole the show. This was kind of overlooked when it came out, but definitely worth checking out if you love insane action scenes.

9. The Incredible Hulk

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 66%). This movie was also largely overlooked when it was released - probably because we were all turned off by Ang Lee's touchy-feely take on the Hulk just a couple of years earlier, but it turned out to be the best screen adaptation yet of the famous Green Goliath. The movie skips the typical "origin story" (flashes of it are seen in the opening credits) and launches right into the action - which never stops.

10. Hancock

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 40%). This movie actually starts off with a fairly interesting premise - a self-destructive, unloved superhero gets a P.R. makeover and becomes a true hero. The second half takes it in a completely different direction, though, and falls flat. What should have been on my list: Tropic Thunder (Tomatometer 83%). This action farce was about a group of actors making a war movie who stumble into a real war. Robert Downey, Jr. and Ben Stiller were especially funny.

11. Speed Racer

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 38%). This live adaptation of the famous kids' cartoon was a visual feast, but the story itself fell flat. What should have been on my list: Bolt  (Tomatometer 88%). This animated film about a dog who thins he has superpowers turned out to be surprisingly good.

12. Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 19%). Say what you will about the Star Wars prequel trilogy, but at least those films were watchable. This one, a two-hour commercial for the new animated TV show, was not. What should have been on my list: Kung Fu Panda (Tomatometer 88%). Action, comedy and a panda who learns to harness great power. Minus the talking animals, this is what an animated Star Wars film should have been.

Final tally for my 2008 predictions: 8 winners, 3 losers and 1 movie that was just so-so.

Heavyweight boxing champions 1973-2011

After George Foreman defeated Joe Frazier and claimed the heavyweight title (January 22, 1973), the WBA believed he should next face Apollo Creed, while the WBC believed Muhammad Ali was the top contender. As Ali had already beaten Creed some time before, Foreman chose to face Ali in the now famous “Rumble in the Jungle” fight (October 30, 1974). However, the WBA chose not to recognize the bout, and instead awarded its championship to Creed after he beat Joe Frazier. Creed then defeated Ali by a close and controversial decision in March 1975 to become the undisputed heavyweight champ.

Creed refused an immediate rematch with Ali, saying that he wanted to fight another challenger first. It turned out to be a misstep. That set up Ali’s famous “Thrilla in Manilla” fight against Frazier, which many people considered a fight for the true heavyweight championship, even though it was sanctioned by neither the WBA nor the WBC.

Seeking to repair his public image, Creed, who was Ali’s match in terms of self-promotion, looked for a worthy contender. When a bout with Foreman fell through, he decided to give an underdog fighter a chance at the heavyweight title as a publicity stunt. Creed chose little-known Robert “Rocky” Balboa for the fight, which took place on January 1, 1976. Balboa surprised everyone by going the distance with the champ. Creed won by split decision, but his public image had taken another hit. Creed finally decided to fight Ali, but Ali had decided to retire to promote his faith of Islam*. That set up a rematch with Balboa on Thanksgiving 1976, which Balboa won.

Balboa retained the heavyweight championship for five years, winning ten more bouts along the way. His early title matches featured impressive wins against Leon Spinks, Ken Norton, Larry Holmes, John Tate and Mike Weaver, but many felt his final fights in this stretch were lackluster. He was finally beaten by James “Clubber” Lang in August 1981. The following January, Balboa regained the WBA and WBC titles in a rematch with Lang. He was also named the inaugural IBC champion in 1983, but was stripped of all three belts later that year as he chose not to defend them in the ring. Following the death of his friend and one-time foe Apollo Creed in the ring in 1985, Balboa came out of semi-retirement for a Christmas Day 1985 match in Moscow against Ivan Drago (the man who had accidentally killed Creed in that fateful bout) in what many billed the best fight of Balboa’s career. However, he retired again, this time officially, in early 1986 due to concerns about the severity of the concussion he sustained during the Drago fight.

Following Balboa’s reign, there was no consensus champion again until Mike Tyson gained all three belts in 1987. A fourth championship awarding organization, the WBO was founded in 1988 with Union Cane as its first heavyweight title holder, although Mike Tyson was still almost universally acknowledged as the dominant fighter in his class. In January 1989, Tommy "Machine Gun" Morrison defeated Cane for the WBO title and James “Buster” Douglas defeated Tyson for the other three belts. Both champions would lose their titles within a year, however.(Morrison recaptured the WBO title briefly in 1997, but lost it again later that year.)

Tyson would later regain some of the titles, but his late career was marred by criminal convictions and unsavory behavior in the ring, including biting the ear of Evander "The Real Deal" Holyfield in a 1997 title fight. Holyfield claimed the IBF, WBA and WBC titles from 1990-1992 and would continue to win championship belts for the next decade. In addition to Tyson and Holyfield, other champions during this time included Riddick Bowe, Lennox Lewis and a resurgent George Foreman, who captured the IBF and WBA titles in 1994 at age 49.

In 2005, Mason "The Line" Dixon became the first boxer in 20 years to hold all of the existing heavyweight titles at once (and the first to simultaneously hold the IBF, WBA, WBC and WBO belts). At first, many accused Dixon of lucking into the titles as heavyweight boxing was not what it once was. However, an exhibition match with then 59-year-old former champ Rocky Balboa in February 2006 changed that perception. Dixon beat Balboa by split decision in what turned out to be a true test of character. The champ injured his hand early in the fight, and still managed to beat Balboa who proved to be in exceptional shape.

Dixon remained the undisputed champion until February 2008, when the IBF and WBO awarded the title to Ukrainian boxer Wladimir Klitschko. As of early 2012, Klitschko still retains those titles, while his brother Vitali Klitschko has taken the WBC belt and Russian Alexander Povetkin is the WBA champion.

*Note: while Ali was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1984, it is not believed that this factored into his decision at that time. A popularly held but unproven theory is that in addition to his public speaking engagements, Ali was secretly living a double life for a time as the masked vigilante known as Shadow Boxer. Shadow Boxer, of course, is best known for capturing the “Son of Sam” serial killer in New York City in the summer of 1976. In the only known photograph of him, he is partially hidden behind fellow vigilante Luke “Powerman” Cage, but many eye-witness accounts report that his fighting style was “like Ali, only even faster and stronger.”

Cold War villain is actually unsung hero

There are a lot of people who point to Ronald Reagan’s speech at the Brandenburg Gate in West Berlin on June 12, 1987 as the turning point in the Cold War. “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall,” he said to rousing cheers. A little more than two years later, the Berlin Wall was history, and the Soviet Union dissolved four years after that. Democracy had triumphed.

While there is no overstating the importance of Reagan’s speech, however, it certainly wasn’t the first sign we had that decades of Soviet resolve against personal freedom were fading. Through the steady advance of technology, the world was becoming a smaller place, and it was becoming ever more difficult for Soviet censors to curtail the voice of unrest in their own midst, especially in the Baltic states and other outlying territories.

It was against this backdrop that the Soviets first began to institute the policies of perestroika (reform) and glasnost (transparency) in the mid-1980s. Rather than appease citizens, however, the new openness allowed a now freer press to critique the shortcomings and hypocrisy inherent in the system. While most Soviet citizens still supported the Union, the voice of dissent was growing louder and picking up steam.

In the past, Soviet hardliners would have seized the opportunity to come down hard on citizens and squash any opposition. However, that was no longer possible: the genie was already out of the bottle, and glasnost was picking up steam. Instead, the Soviet government decided to quiet dissent by reinvigorating national pride within the populace. To do so, they launched a massive propaganda campaign, turning to an old trick in their playbook: beat the United States.

From the beginning, the Soviets had matched the U.S. in military might, but both sides knew that in the nuclear age that was not an acceptable battle field, so they tried to one-up each other in other ways. The Soviets had taken the technology lead in the early 1960s by putting the first man in space (Yuri Gagarin on April 12, 1961), but the Americans were never far behind, and after the U.S. became the first to put men on the Moon in 1969, the space race became a symbolic dead-end. Likewise, the mech tech race in the mid-‘60s cooled before it had really begun, as the Stark and Vanko models both proved potent yet overly-complex and cost-prohibitive compared to conventional weaponry and nuclear deterrents. And unbeknown to the Americans, with other concerns looming, the Soviet government had quietly declawed their technology R&D spending.

But athletics and bio-medicine were areas in which they continued to excel, and in which Soviet leaders believed they could gain significant moral victories over the Americans. Having lost the men’s Olympic ice hockey finals to a supposedly inferior U.S. team in 1980, there was a bit of hurt ego playing into the equation. The Americans’ boycott of the summer Olympics that year and subsequent Soviet boycott of the 1984 Olympics had only caused the U.S.S.R. to further lose face. Seeking to change that, the Soviets decided to hit the Americans hard on their own soil.

Such a move was a risky one, of course, as there is no way to control the outcome of any sporting event. However, in this case, Soviet leaders were as certain as they could be about their chances to win. An agency led by one of their top athletic officials, Nicolai Koloff, had developed undetectable (at the time) anabolic steroids that were capable of bestowing almost superhuman strength and endurance. Koloff had also taken to training one of the country’s most promising young athletes, Ivan Drago, who in 1980 had won a largely uncontested Olympic gold in boxing. With Koloff’s help, Drago was trained – and enhanced – to peak condition.

Drago, of course, is best remembered as a villain: the man who killed popular former heavyweight champion Apollo Creed in the ring in his only fight on American soil, and subsequently lost to reigning heavyweight champion Rocky Balboa on Christmas Day 1985. After that fight, he fell from national hero to villain even among his own countrymen. After a post-game report was released identifying steroids in his system, he was disqualified from international competition and disappeared into anonymity, never to be seen again. (Unless you believe wild Internet rumors that he turned KGB and was involved in that disgraceful business in Namibia in 1988.)

But I think it is worth looking back at what Drago represented in the larger context. Although his country turned its back on him, they did not turn their back on what he stood for. His fight with Balboa is the stuff of legend. It ended the Italian Stallion’s career (save for a single, spectacular exhibition outing at age 59 in 2006), but not before he gave the fight of his life. At the end, the crowd was cheering “Rocky! Rocky!” as they embraced the fighter from Philadelphia the same way they had started to embrace the values set forth in Philadelphia two centuries prior. Even Soviet General Secretary Mikhail Gorbachev was seen begrudgingly clapping after the American’s win and heartfelt plea at center ring that “We can all change!”

While the reactions of Gorbachev and the crowd were mostly censored from Soviet television, that only made them more legendary. Interestingly, though, they did not censor the reaction of Ivan Drago when the crowd turned against him. In the waning moments of the fight, Drago was seen pushing Koloff aside and shouting, “I win for me! For me!” The Soviet leadership, blind to the mood of their own people, allowed this quote to be aired repeatedly, hoping it would vilify Drago as someone detached from his own people, thereby deflecting blame for the loss onto his shoulders alone.

In retrospect, however, it was clear that this was the moment Drago stopped being a pawn of his evil government and started representing his actual countrymen rather than the people who claimed to speak for them. Yes, his cry of “I fight for me!” was the most democratic thing ever heard from behind the Iron Curtain. It reflected a growing sentiment among his people: that their will was not subservient to that of the government, and that their voices deserved to be heard.

Ivan Drago lost the biggest fight of his life, but in doing so he helped win the Cold War – for everyone.

Most anticipated splody movies of 2009: recap

That's right, I'm working my way backwards. After posting my 2011 and 2010 lists, here is how well I did at predicting the movies to see in 2009. (For reference, critic scores from Rotten Tomatoes are also included for each film.) As usual, my formula for success is equal parts good character development and explosions.

1. Avatar

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 83%). This movie is a must-see for the wonderful special effects, ad there was an interesting story to be told here, it just wasn't. Instead, we got a cliche-filled, rehashed plot.

2. Watchmen

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer: 64%). Again, this was an absolutely gorgeous film visually, and there was a lot to like in it. While it didn't live up to the graphic novel it was based on, it did fairly well at interpreting the material for the silver screen, and I think it will go down as a cult classic.

3. Star Trek

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer: 95%). Director J.J. Abrams found a way to both honor the franchise history and reboot it. Most importantly, though, he made one heck of an exciting movie.

4. Where the Wild Things Are

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer: 73%). The children's book of this name is a classic. The movie version takes the spirit of the book, but goes in a very different direction. But that's not why I disliked it. I thought the real-world opening scene was brilliant and really captured the essence of childhood angst. Despite some magnificent, otherworldly set designs, though, the fantasy part (the rest of the movie) was so laboriously paced that it completely ruined the experience. What should have been on my list: Moon (Tomatometer 89%). I've made no effort to conceal my man-crush on Sam Rockwell: he's really a terrific actor as he showed again in this highly original, highly claustrophobic thriller about a man alone in a space station on the Moon.

5. Sherlock Holmes

Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer: 70%). Speaking of man-crushes, Robert Downey, Jr. was fantastic as usual in this movie. It may not have been the most faithful adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's classic English detective, but the ever-so-slightly-steampunk story was an exciting spin on the character.

6. Terminator Salvation

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer: 33%). I actually liked parts of this movie a lot, especially the frenetic opening scene. Overall, it was a mess though, with bad acting, bad editing and an unsatisfying plot that you just couldn't get invested in.  What should have been on my list: Zombieland (Tomatometer 90%). Now there's an entertaining dystopian future! This zombie apocalypse movie had action, laughs, an interesting story and quality acting.

7. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer: 37%). OK, it wasn't great, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the previous film X-Men: The Last Stand. If you are just looking for mindless action, this movie has it in spades - after all, it's about a guy with knives coming out of his hands chopping up everything in sight.

8. Monsters vs. Aliens

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer: 72%). I loved the set-up and the way this movie payed tribute to all of the great B-movie monsters of the past. Only half of the jokes were funny, though, and the action was a little tepid.

9. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer: 20%). One of the robots had balls - double-entendre intended. Two others were horribly offensive racial caricatures. Worst of all, though, this movie about giant, shape-shifting robots managed to be boring. I mean, seriously, how does that happen? What should have been on my list: District 9 (Tomatometer 91%). A damaged alien spaceship arrives at Earth, and its grotesque, insectoid inhabitants are quarantined in a ghetto in Johannesburg, South Africa. This movie was both a great examination of prejudice and an exciting science fiction story.

10. Inglourious Basterds

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer: 88%). There were some compelling scenes, and the unexpected twists were great. Overall, though, it's a much more disjointed story than we normally get from Quentin Tarantino.

11. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer: 33%). The story wasn't very deep, but there were some good action sequences. It was enough to keep me entertained and interested in a sequel.

12. 9

Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer: 57%). The 2005 short film of the same name that this was based on was very cool, but the story just didn't work as a full-length feature. What should have been on my list: Up (Tomatometer 98%). Wow, this one surprised me. It did not look very interesting to me at first, but it may be my favorite Pixar film to date. It made me cry, it made me laugh, and it was much splodier than I ever imagined, full of terrific action and wondrous adventure.

Final tally for my 2009 predictions: only two clear winners, compared to four losers and six movies that were just so-so.

Most anticipated splody movies of 2010: recap

Since I posted my 2011 splody movie recap, a couple of people have asked me about the lists from previous years that I mentioned. As luck would have it, I still have a few of them saved, and so without further ado, here is how I did at predicting which movies would be worth watching in 2010. (As a reminder, my formula for success is equal parts good character development and explosions.)

1. Iron Man 2
Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 74%). It may not have matched the first installment overall, but it had some great action and - yes - Robert Downey, Jr.

2. Inception
Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 86%). Christopher Nolan didn't disappoint, creating another mind-blowing suspense that threw all of the rules out the window.

3. Tron: Legacy
Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 50%). The plot was overly complicated and plodding, but then so again was the first Tron. And while it may not have broken any new ground like its predecessor did, it was still a visually stunning movie.

4. Clash of the Titans
Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 28%). I'll take the original version's B-movie acting and Ray Harryhausen classic stop-motion monsters any day over the boring script and sub-par CGI of this mess. What should have been on my list: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (Tomatometer 81%). This was both the stupidest and most awesomest movie I saw from the 2010 crop.As tired as Clash was, Pilgrim was fresh and innovative, and it featured a truly epic (and utterly ridiculous) quest.

5. Kick-Ass
Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 76%). this was pitched as a "realistic" superhero movie, which is a bunch of crap - superhero movies are unrealistic by definition. But it definitely broke with some of the standard comic book movie conventions and showed just how bloody and messy being a superhero would be. What pushed it over the top was the father-daughter vigilante team of Big Daddy (played by Nic Cage as a psychotic version of Batman) and eleven-year-old Hit Girl.

6. Megamind
Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 72%). Will Ferrell is either hit or miss. Here, he hits as smartypants supervillain Megamind. Unfortunately, the plot is a little slow in places, but overall it's a worthwhile view.

7. How to Train Your Dragon
Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 98%). The middle of my 2010 movie lineup was full of movies aimed more at my then-seven-year-old boys than at me, but what can I say? It was a good year for animated adventure. This film was full of laughs, thrills and memorable characters.

8. Predators
Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 64%). Nothing can beat the original Predator starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, but this did a better job than previous sequels of capturing some of that excitement.

9. Despicable Me
Result: FULL OF WIN (Tomatometer 81%). It was the animated film I was least sure about, but this story of a down-on-his-luck supervillain turned out to be my favorite of the bunch.

10. Salt
Result: MIDDLING (Tomatometer 62%). Salt was billed as the "female Jason Bourne movie." There was some good action, and I like Angelina Jolie, but the story itself didn't live up to the hype.

11. The Expendables
Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 40%). This film collected a ton of old action stars, but squandered its potential with a clunky story. What should have been on my list: RED (Tomatometer 71%). Short for "Retired, Extremely Dangerous," this sleeper had the action and laughs that The Expendables only hinted at.

12. The A-Team
Result: EPIC FAIL (Tomatometer 46%). I was a fan of the TV show, but I didn't have my hopes up too high for this film, which was as forgettable as most TV-to-movie adaptations. What should have been on my list: Machete (Tomatometer 73%). Based on a fake trailer from the 2007 film Grindhouse, director Robert Rodriguez packed this movie with a lot of over-the-top action. Plus, it stars total badass Danny Trejo.

Final tally for my 2010 predictions: five winners, three losers and four that were just so-so.

And the winner is...

A - armpit, awkward (2)

B - baboon, badonkadonk, balls, blubbery, boobs, booger, booty, bra, buns, burp, butt (11)

C - constipated, cow pie, cup (3)

D - diaper (1)

E

F - fanny, fart (2)

G - gas, giblets, gorilla (3)

H - hot (1)

I

J

K

L

M - manure, monkey, moon, mudflaps (4)

N - nerd, nipple, nose hair, nostril, nude, nuts (6)

O

P - pee, poop (2)

Q

R - rear (1)

S - SBD, sexy, skid marks, snot, squat, squish (6)

T - turd (1)

U - underpants (1)

V

W - wiener (1)

X

Y

Z

So there you have it. By a landslide, nine-year-old boys have chosen B as the funniest letter.

Ten little baby toes

Here's a song I made up for the newest addition to our family. Enjoy.


I’ve got ten little baby toes

And one little baby nose

Two baby elbows

And two baby earlobes

Two little baby eyes

And two little baby thighs

And two little baby lungs to help me cry

(Wah!)



I’ve got one little baby face

With two little chubby cheeks

And one little baby mouth

But no little baby teeth

I’ve got two little baby hands

With two little baby thumbs

And one little diaper to cover my baby bum

(Wah!)

What if Superman was absent minded

The bowl is half empty - part 3

Congratulations to the Alabama Crimson Tide, winner of last night's so-called "National Championship Bowl" and holder of this year's mythical NCAA football crown. I say "mythical" because, while I believe they have a good claim to the title, for some reason we still don't have a true playoff system to definitively settle the matter. So, as I did last year and the year before, I'd like to imagine a world in which we had been treated to a month of playoff-level excitement. A world where we had gotten to see 16 of the season's top-ranked college football teams battle for the ultimate, indisputable title.

Here is what it might have looked like. I have bracketed and seeded the teams according to their final regular-season BCS rankings, with some consideration given to tradition (e.g., SEC champion in the Sugar Bowl bracket) and geography. I also used the rule of no more than one team per conference in any given bracket.

Rose Bowl Bracket

1st seed Oregon (11-2, Pac-12) vs. 4th seed Oklahoma (10-3, Big XII) -- winner: Oregon

2nd seed Arkansas (10-2, SEC) vs. 3rd seed Wisconsin (11-2, Big Ten) -- winner: Arkansas

Rose Bowl: Oregon over Arkansas. This one really could go either way, but I've got to give the edge to the Ducks and their brain-implodingly tacky uniforms.

Fiesta Bowl Bracket

1st seed Oklahoma State (11-1, Big XII) vs. 4th seed Clemson (10-3, ACC) -- winner: Oklahoma State

2nd seed Stanford (11-1, Pac-12) vs. 3rd seed South Carolina (10-2, SEC) -- winner: Stanford

Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma State over Stanford. This is exactly what happened in this year's Fiesta Bowl.

Sugar Bowl Bracket

1st seed LSU (13-0, SEC) vs. 4th seed West Virginia (9-3, Big East) -- winner: LSU

2nd seed Boise State (12-1, Mountain West) vs. 3rd seed Baylor (10-3, Big XII) -- winner: Boise State

Sugar Bowl: LSU over Boise State. Boise State looked good yet again, but - last night's game notwithstanding - LSU has been dominant all season.

Orange Bowl Bracket

1st seed Alabama (11-1, SEC) vs. 4th seed Michigan (10-2, Big Ten) -- winner: Alabama

2nd seed Kansas State (10-2, Big XII) vs. 3rd seed Virginia Tech (11-2, ACC) -- winner: Kansas State

Orange Bowl: Alabama over Kansas State. The SEC owns the Big XII this year.

Final Four

Eastern Semifinal: Alabama over LSU

Western Semifinal: Oregon over Oklahoma State

National Championship Bowl: 'Bama looked pretty unstoppable last night. But who knows? If we had actually gotten to see this play out, I wouldn't have been surprised in the least to see Oklahoma State or Oregon win the big game. And West Virginia and Arkansas sure looked strong in their own bowl games and could have been Cinderellas at the ball if there had been a ball. Sadly, for this season at least, we'll never know.

------------

BONUS: The "N.I.T." of College Football

This year, 70 teams participated in 35 bowl games. Many of these were barely-worthy 6-6 teams, but there were a few good ones in there as well. Here is what a second-tier 16-team tournament might have looked like. I've included all of the conferences champions without a spot in the main tournament (C-USA, MAC, Moutain West, Sun Belt and WAC), as well as the next-best available teams according to the BCS rankings and AP poll.

EAST BRACKET

1st seed Houston (13-1, C-USA) vs. 4th seed Arkansas State (10-2, Sun Belt) -- winner: Houston

2nd seed Penn State (9-4, Big XII) vs. 3rd seed Auburn (8-5 SEC) -- winner: Auburn

Chick-fil-A Bowl: Auburn over Houston

SOUTHEAST BRACKET

1st seed Georgia (10-4, SEC) vs. 4th seed Louisiana Tech (8-5, WAC) -- winner: Georgia

2nd seed Southern Miss (12-2, C-USA) vs. 3rd seed Florida State (9-4, ACC) -- winner: Florida State

Gator Bowl: Georgia over Florida State

MIDWEST BRACKET

1st seed Michigan State (11-3, Big Ten) vs. 4th seed Ohio (10-4, MAC) -- winner: Michigan State

2nd seed Texas (8-5, Big XII) vs. 3rd seed Notre Dame (8-5, Independent) -- winner: Texas

Alamo Bowl: Michigan State over Texas

WEST BRACKET

1st seed TCU (11-2, Moutain West) vs. 4th seed BYU (10-3, Independent) -- winner: TCU

2nd seed Nebraska (9-4, Big Ten) vs. 3rd seed Cincinnati (10-3, Big East) -- winner: Cincinnati

Insight Bowl: Cincinnati over TCU

FINAL FOUR

Outback Bowl: Georgia over Auburn

Cotton Bowl: Michigan State over Cincinnati

Capital One National Invitational Championship Bowl: Michigan State over Georgia