Seven things I learned about seven-year-olds on my seven-day family road trip

1. Seven-year-olds can concentrate on a video game for hours on end, but cannot concentrate for 10 seconds on what you're saying.
2. No matter how much fun you have somewhere, what a seven-year-old will remember most about it is the trinket they acquired there.
3. Whatever word you least want them to say ("badonkadonk") is the one seven-year-olds will say incessantly.
4. You should never teach a seven-year-old what it means to "moon" somebody.
5. Seven-year-olds think the word "don't" means "hurry."
6. Even the best seven-year-olds would be considered psychopaths if they were adults.
7. Seven-year-olds make any family vacation more fun. Eventually. After they finish complaining about it.