Twisdom 4

Every once in a while, I tweet something that stands on its own. Sometimes it's poetic, sometimes silly and sometimes just a little observation that has a kernel of wisdom in it. Here are some of those tweets.

Bumped my knee and now it hurts. That's not cool. You know what is cool? A fire tornado.

The interior decorator at the Salt Lake City airport apparently had nothing left to live for.

I lose faith in humanity every morning during rush hour.

I only have two speeds: "balls-to-the-wall" and "off."

There is no such thing as a "Chocolate Frosty." It is either a "Frosty" or a "Vanilla Frosty." A "Frosty" is chocolate. End of discussion.

I hate food.

I want to die in outer space.

Is it wrong that I feel like I wasted my time voting, because I didn't get a sticker?

God invented sweet potato fries just for me.  :)

i retract my previous statement - there is no zombie ninja government conspiracy - i HavE onLy resPect for the governMEnt

Every time someone gets a text message, an angel gets its wings.

Lois Lane dies. In his grief, Superman flies so fast he reverses the rotation of the Earth - killing everyone else on the planet. The end.

Yuck, Diet Pisspee.

I'm smarter than I look. And better looking.

I'm using my powers for evil today.

fejujenbkd... this time of night no longer sane... if ever... not sure what I need... try sleep again... not disney channel... suite life...

Was just listing Life Savers flavors, and I was doing ok at pep-o-mint and wint-o-green, but I think I took a wrong turn at butt-o-scotch...

Everybody gets a monkey!