Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Steal this idea, Hollywood: Not your average nightly news...

Here is an idea I have for a weekly television program. Call it "The National News" and make it look exactly like a network nightly news show. In the beginning, actually have the anchors cover some ordinary news that happened that day. but also mix in a bunch of weird stuff, saying things like: "Authorities aren't sure what caused..." Some of it is really freaky and thought-provoking.

Over time, we get more "amateur footage," some investigative journalism and competing theories about these strange phenomena. Including some interviews with crazy scientists (one with theories about aliens, another about government conspiracies, etc.), nutty religious leaders calling it the apocalypse, etc. Also, we get some clips of the President talking - out of context, of course. Other famous people could cameo as themselves. Overall, production costs are kept kind low, because the special effects need to look grainy to be mysterious.

Then (during sweeps) we get lucky and some clear footage emerges, and we see that's it's... superheroes! Or aliens! Or, what the hell, both! And let's throw in some robots while we're at it. And a zombie plague. And somebody who brings dinosaurs back to life. And... well, you get the point. It's some very wild stuff, and it's actually happening and building in momentum, and the world is turning into a comic book right before our eyes.

Eventually, it becomes what the news would be every night if the world became that crazy. We get summaries of the amazing things happening in the world. And we get to see breaking footage as something heroic is happening. We get to know the characters that save the day as the news cameras capture them in action, and maybe even get them to sit down for an interview. But it's all told from the everyman point-of-view: how you and I would react if this shit was real.

Full disclosure: this idea borrows heavily from Kurt Busiek's Marvels (beautifully illustrated by Alex Ross), but that was a great comic book mini-series. And I think the concept would make a great TV series. Step up, Hollywood!

Images courtesy of Futurama, Alex Ross.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Making baseball more major league

Major League Baseball is considering moving either Arizona or Houston from the National League to the American League. That would give the two leagues 15 teams each and ensure interleague play every day of the season.

I agree the unbalanced divisions are unwieldy, but the proposed solution just trades today's problems for tomorrow's. I have a better idea.

Why not split into five "leagues" of six teams each. That way everything would be balanced. We could take the old (1969-1993) East-West division alignments as a starting point, with just a few tweaks, and slot in the expansion teams since then:

AMERICAN LEAGUE
Baltimore
Boston
Cleveland
Detroit
NY Yankees
Toronto

NATIONAL LEAGUE
Chicago Cubs
Milwaukee
NY Mets
Philadelphia
Pittsburgh
St. Louis

PACIFIC LEAGUE
Arizona
Colorado
LA Dodgers
San Diego
San Francisco
Seattle

SOUTHERN LEAGUE
Atlanta
Cincinnati
Florida
Houston
Tampa Bay
Washington

WESTERN LEAGUE
Chicago White Sox
Kansas City
LA Angels
Minnesota
Oakland
Texas

In this scenario, the leagues could each choose whether or not to use the Designated Hitter. (I'm guessing "yes" for the AL and WL, and "no" for the rest.) Interleague play is increased (each league plays two of the other four leagues each year on a rotating basis), but down the stretch everyone plays their own so we can have exciting pennant races. And in the playoffs, we get the five league winners (one less than today's division winners) and three wildcards (one more than today), all seeded together to increase the likelihood that the two best teams reach the finals. Plus, the shake-up would generate buzz and interest in the game, while really not messing much with traditional rivalries.

And as far as the All-Star game goes, how about fan picks vs. manager picks? That would be a great way for us to see all the fan favorites, as well as be introduced to some unheralded heroes on the big stage.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Making hockey more provincial

After a thrilling Stanley Cup finals, the NHL must now turn its attention to the next task at hand: figuring out what to do with the new Winnipeg team now that it has relocated from Atlanta. Atlanta is currently in the Southeast Division, and for those of you who don't know (and if not, shame on you!), Winnipeg is definitely not in the southeast. Several ideas have been tossed around about how to realign, but they all suffer the same fatal flaw: under the current six-division structure, at least one Eastern time zone team like Detroit or Columbus will end up playing in the Western Conference.

Actually, it is not just the misplaced Eastern teams that have it rough. The NHL is the most geographically imbalanced major sports league - with the majority of its teams concentrated in the northeast - and because of that, the rest of the league has a pretty awful travel situation. There are only four NHL teams in the Pacific time zone, four in Mountain time, six in Central (it was only five before Atlanta moved to Winnipeg), and the rest in the East.

I have looked at the problem from multiple angles, and I think I've come up with the only sensible solution. The problem is that the NHL is trying to cram 30 teams into the same two-conference structure that other leagues use. But hockey has always been different, and that's part of its charm. So the best solution is to make it even more different, even more provincial, and make the bold move to not two but four conferences.

The new conferences would allow teams to clump together more easily along natural geographic lines that would reduce travel. It would also have the benefit of intensifying rivalries, which has a history of success in hockey. Here is how I would recommend dividing the league:

ATLANTIC CONFERENCE
Carolina
Florida
New Jersey
NY Islanders
NY Rangers
Philadelphia
Tampa Bay
Washington

CENTRAL CONFERENCE
Chicago
Dallas
Detroit
Minnesota
Nashville
St. Louis
Winnipeg

NORTHEAST CONFERENCE
Boston
Buffalo
Columbus
Montreal
Ottawa
Pittsburgh
Toronto

PACIFIC CONFERENCE
Anaheim
Calgary
Colorado
Edmonton
Los Angeles
Phoenix
San Jose
Vancouver

Each team would play all of their conference rivals five or six times per season, and each of the other teams twice each. (Under the current structure, some non-conference teams are only played once, which means West Coast fans may miss the opportunity to see Sidney Crosby in person, for example.) In the playoffs, the top four teams from each conference would battle in the opening rounds, similar to how the league operated from 1981-1993. The four conference champs would be re-seeded for the semi-finals, helping to ensure that the best teams meet in the finals. (As for the All-Star game, it would return to the North America vs. World format that it flirted with a few years ago.)

If this structure were in place this year, this is how the playoffs might have gone:

ATLANTIC
(1) Washington over (4) NY Rangers
(3) Tampa Bay over (2) Philadelphia
Conference finals: Tampa Bay over Washington.

CENTRAL
(1) Detroit over (4) Dallas
(2) Nashville over (3) Chicago
Conference finals: Detroit over Nashville

NORTHEAST
(4) Buffalo over (1) Pittsburgh
(2) Boston over (3) Montreal
Conference finals: Boston over Buffalo

PACIFIC
(1) Vancouver over (4) Phoenix
(2) San Jose over (3) Anaheim
Conference finals: Vancouver over San Jose

SEMI-FINALS
(1) Vancouver over (4) Detroit
(2) Boston over (3) Tampa Bay

STANLEY CUP FINALS
Boston over Vancouver

Most importantly, fans across the NHL would have seen highly relevant, geographic rivalries in the early rounds on a fairly consistent basis, helping fuel interest in both hockey-crazed and hockey-confused NHL cities alike.

It probably won't save struggling Phoenix or Nashville, but hockey-crazed Quebec City and Hamilton, Ontario beckon for them. In the meantime, this proposed realignment should make the remaining teams stronger and reduce the overall travel burden. Game on!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Super summer showdown: conclusion


Well, that all seemed like a waste of time! Marvel won, but only barely: DC was definitely within the margin of error. The two were virtually tied in heroes, Marvel held a slight advantage in anti-heroes, and DC held a slight advantage in villains.

Personally, I think DC has slightly better top heroes, and Marvel has more depth – but the truth is they’re both good. Let’s hope they keep making comic books, and more importantly comic book movies, for a long time.

Finally, just for fun, here are my votes for the top 20 heroes and villains from these universes. As you can see, DC holds the top spot in both charts, while Marvel has a slight edge in numbers. Again, pretty much a wash.

Top 20 Superheroes

1. Batman (DC)
2. Wolverine (Marvel)
3. Spider-Man (Marvel)
4. Superman (DC)
5. The Flash (DC)
6. Iron Man (Marvel)
7. Captain America (Marvel)
8. Green Lantern (DC)
9. Hulk (Marvel)
10. Wonder Woman (DC)
11. The Thing (Marvel)
12. Thor (Marvel)
13. Daredevil (Marvel)
14. Robin (DC)
15. The Human Torch (Marvel)
16. Silver Surfer (Marvel)
17. Martian Manhunter (DC)
18. Hawkeye (Marvel)
19. Green Arrow (DC)
20. Black Panther (Marvel)

Top 20 Supervillains

1. The Joker (DC)
2. Magneto (Marvel)
3. Lex Luthor (DC)
4. Doctor Doom (Marvel)
5. Darkseid (DC)
6. Galactus (Marvel)
7. Venom (Marvel)
8. Juggernaut (Marvel)
9. Ra’s al Ghul (DC)
10. Black Adam (DC)
11. The Green Goblin (Marvel)
12. Brainiac (DC)
13. Bane (DC)
14. Apocalypse (Marvel)
15. Solomon Grundy (DC)
16. Doctor Octopus (Marvel)
17. Gorilla Grodd (DC)
18. Thanos (Marvel)
19. Kingpin (Marvel)
20. The Rhino (Marvel)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Super summer showdown, round eleven: the agents of chaos

In this final round, we see a bunch of villains who, in the words of Batman’s butler Alfred, “just want to watch the world burn.” For the heroes, that makes them unpredictable and dangerous. For us, the observers, that makes them a blast.

Contest #101: The Joker (DC) vs. The Green Goblin (Marvel)

The Joker is the ultimate psychopath, a brilliant but insane villain who finds humor in others’ misfortune. He doesn’t have a single superpower – he just knows how to push all the right buttons. The Green Goblin is also insane, but has a few more gadgets up his sleeve. For him, it’s Halloween every day as he rides around on a flying scooter throwing “pumpkin bombs.” Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: The Joker. Most firepower: The Green Goblin. Most heart: The Joker. Most compelling character: The Joker. Overall winner: The Joker. He was already a pretty versatile bad guy, but Heath Ledger’s performance of him in The Dark Knight put him over the top as the best comic book villain ever.

Contest #102: Obsidian (DC) vs. Venom (Marvel)

Obsidian is the mentally unstable son of the original, World War II era Green Lantern – the one who wears red and whose weakness is wood, not the one who wears green and whose weakness is the color yellow. (Uh… just trust me on that…) He has the power to merge with his shadow and send tendrils of it out to envelop people, among other things. Venom is one of Marvel’s most interesting villains, even though it was portrayed horribly in Spiderman 3. It is an alien symbiote that merges with its host, forming a kind of black, skin-like covering. Once attached, the creature enhances its host with special powers. Oh, and turns the host evil. Classically coolest: Venom. Most badass: Venom. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Venom. Most compelling character: Venom. Overall winner: Venom.


Contest #103: Poison Ivy (DC) vs. The Enchantress (Marvel)

Poison Ivy is a botanist supervillain who can control plants. She can also use plant toxins to hypnotize men and bend them to her will, The Enchantress is one of Thor’s Asgardian kin, who – among other things – uses magic to bend men to her will. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: The Enchantress. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Poison Ivy. Overall winner: This is a tough one, but Poison Ivy has me in her spell.


Contest #104: The Riddler (DC) vs. Arcade (Marvel)

The Riddler is a crook who seems less interested in getting rich than in leaving elaborate but solvable riddle clues that allow Batman to ultimately thwart him. Arcade is a crook who seems to only be interested in creating elaborate, carnival-ride-like death traps for heroes to ultimately escape from. Classically coolest: The Riddler. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: The Riddler. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: The Riddler.


Contest #105: Black Manta (DC) vs. Mole Man (Marvel)

Black Manta is one of Aquaman’s arch-nemeses, a man with a super-powered diving suit and an irrational desire to conquer Atlantis. Mole Man is a man who fled underground from the world that he perceived had betrayed him, periodically returning with a horde of subterranean goons to try to conquer the surface and exact his vengeance. Classically coolest: Black Manta. Most badass: Black Manta. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Mole Man. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: Black Manta. His ellipsoidal diving helmet is much cooler than Mole Man’s thick 3D-glasses look


Contest #106: Cyborg Superman (DC) vs. Ultron (Marvel)

Cyborg Superman is a villain who is half machine and half organic replica of Superman. (What did you think he would be?) When Doomsday (temporarily) killed Superman, Cyborg Superman claimed to be the real deal and cuased all kinds of mischief. Ultron is a bad Skynet prototype: a virtually indestructible robot originally built by Hank Pym (Ant-Man) to aid humanity, who instead decided to destroy it. Classically coolest: Ultron. Most badass: Ultron. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Ultron. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: Ultron.


Contest #107: Harley Quinn (DC) vs. Crossbones (Marvel)

These are two of the better recent additions to DC and Marvel’s rogues galleries. Harley Quinn is a disciple of the Joker who dresses like a harlequin jester and uses her expertise in psychoanalysis to create chaos. Crossbones is a disciple of the Red Skull who dresses like a member of Slip Knot and uses his military expertise to create chaos. Classically coolest: Harley Quinn. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: Crossbones. Most heart: Harley Quinn. Most compelling character: Harley Quinn. Overall winner: Harley Quinn.


Contest #108: Two-Face (DC) vs. Sebastian Shaw (Marvel)

Two-Face is a former respectable district attorney who was driven mad by an accident that left him scarred on half of his face. Having turned to crime, he prefers to leave a lot to chance – flipping a coin to make crucial decisions, such as, for example, whether he’ll let someone live or die. Sebastian Shaw, portrayed by Kevin Bacon in the new X-Men: First Class movie, is a mutant who absorbs kinetic energy to increase his own strength. On the surface, he is a respectable businessman, but secretly he’s the head of the Hellfire Club, a secret organization seeking world domination. Classically coolest: Two-Face. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: Sebastian Shaw. Most heart: Two-Face. Most compelling character: Two-Face. Overall winner: Two-Face.


Contest #109: Professor Zoom (DC) vs. Speed Demon (Marvel)

An evil version of the Flash, Professor Zoom (also known as the Reverse-Flash) has been a constant thorn in his counterpart’s side. Speed Demon (also known, unfortunately, as the Whizzer) is pretty similar but less of a fixture in his universe. Classically coolest: Professor Zoom. Most badass: Professor Zoom. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Professor Zoom. Overall winner: Professor Zoom.


Contest #110: Mr. Mxyzptlk (DC) vs. Loki (Marvel)

Mr. Mxyzptlk is a magical imp from another dimension who shows up periodically just to give Superman trouble. The only way to banish this Great Gazoo prototype back to his own dimension is to make him say his own name backwards. (“Kltpzyxm,” in case you’re wondering. Simple, eh?) Loki is Thor’s adopted brother who harbors a huge chip on his shoulder against his sibling. The “God of Mischief,” a master of magic, shows up periodically just to give Thor trouble. Classically coolest: Loki. Most badass: Loki. Most firepower: Mr. Mxyzptlk. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Loki. Overall winner: Loki. He wins this contest hands down, even before Tom Hiddleston’s winning portrayal in Thor.


Round eight score: A big leap for DC, but not quite enough – DC 7, Marvel 3. Cumulative score: DC 54, Marvel 56.

Next: the thrilling conclusion!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Super summer showdown, round ten: crooks and thugs

You know, sometimes a villain doesn’t have to be a galaxy-conqueror to be fun. Sometimes, all he has to have is a bad attitude and a gimmick.

Contest #91: The Shark (DC) vs. The Rhino (Marvel)

The Shark is a mutated shark in humanoid form (which, for some reason, means his dorsal fin is on his head instead of his back) with telepathy, the ability to shoot energy bolts and a host of other powers. The Rhino is a dimwitted bruiser with a rhino suit permanently affixed to his skin, giving him enough super strength to tussle with the Hulk, plus some wicked horns on his head. Classically coolest: The Rhino. Most badass: The Rhino. Most firepower: The Shark. Most heart: The Rhino. Most compelling character: The Rhino. Overall winner: The Rhino – an underappreciated villain if there ever was one!

Contest #92: Bizarro (DC) vs. Carnage (Marvel)

Bizarro is a twisted version of Superman (actually a clone) with similar powers. Carnage is a twisted version of Spiderman (actually an alien) with even stronger powers. Classically coolest: Bizarro. Most badass: Carnage. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Bizarro. Most compelling character: Bizarro. Overall winner: Bizarro.


Contest #93: Man-Bat (DC) vs. Vulture (Marvel)

Man-Bat is a half-man, half-bat mutation with webbed arms that let him fly. The Vulture is a bald human crook that uses a feathered super suit to fly. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Vulture. Overall winner: Vulture.


Contest #94: Cheetah (DC) vs. Lady Deathstrike (Marvel)

In recent years, the Cheetah has gone from just being a woman in a costume to having super powers rivaling those of her arch-enemy Wonder Woman. But she’s still basically a woman in a cheetah costume. Lady Deathstrike is a mutant with powers similar to Wolverine, with long, razor sharp fingernails. Classically coolest: Cheetah. Most badass: Lady Deathstrike. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Cheetah. Most compelling character: Cheetah. Overall winner: Cheetah. Sometimes the simple ideas are the better ones.


Contest #95: Mister Freeze (DC) vs. Electro (Marvel)

Mister Freeze is a scientist whose body was mutated by chemicals so that he can only survive at sub-zero temperatures. He wears a special suit to keep himself cold and uses a freeze gun. Electro is a master of electricity who gained his powers after being struck by lightning while working on a power line. (For you and I, that would give us the mystical power of being dead.) Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: Electro. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Mister Freeze. Most compelling character: Mister Freeze. Overall winner: Mister Freeze.


Contest #96: Solomon Grundy (DC) vs. The Sentinels (Marvel)

Solomon Grundy is the ultimate super-zombie, who keeps coming back no matter how many times you kill him. The Sentinels are mutant hunting robots, who keep coming back no matter how many times the X-Men dismantle them. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: Solomon Grundy. Most firepower: The Sentinels. Most heart: Solomon Grundy. Most compelling character: Solomon Grundy. Overall winner: Solomon Grundy.


Contest #97: Amazo (DC) vs. Super-Skrull (Marvel)

Amazo is a pointy-eared android who can mimic the powers of any superhero. The Super-Skrull is an alien shape shifter who can mimic the powers of any member of the Fantastic Four. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: Amazo. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Amazo. Overall winner: Amazo.


Contest #98: Deadshot (DC) vs. Bullseye (Marvel)

Two assassins for hire that never miss. Both are skilled in a wide variety of weapons. Bullseye gets bonus points for slitting a man’s throat with a well-aimed playing card. Also, he killed Elektra in front of Daredevil. (She didn’t stay dead, of course.) Classically coolest: Bullseye. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: Bullseye.


Contest #99: Doomsday (DC) vs. Juggernaut (Marvel)

Doomsday is a Kryptonian monster, a virtually unstoppable force that desires only to kill. He and Superman once beat each other to death. (They didn’t stay dead, of course.) The Juggernaut is a man who possesses a magic gem that makes him a truly unstoppable force. In addition to super strength and invulnerability, once in motion he cannot physically be stopped against his will. Not by anything. Classically coolest: Juggernaut. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Juggernaut. Overall winner: Juggernaut. Killing Superman is pretty impressive, but the Juggernaut is more awesome still.


Contest #100: Killer Croc (DC) vs. The Lizard (Marvel)

Killer Croc is a human villain with a mutation that has progressively turned him reptilian: starting as just scaly skin and eventually including super strength, regeneration and other abilities. The Lizard is a surgeon who developed a serum from reptiles to grow back his severed arm. The serum worked, but unfortunately turned him reptilian in the process, giving him super strength, regeneration and other abilities. Oh, and a burning hatred for humankind. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: The Lizard. Overall winner: The Lizard.


Round eleven score: This round was even – DC 5, Marvel 5. Cumulative score: DC 47, Marvel 53.

One round to go!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Super summer showdown, round nine: the schemers

This batch of villains may not possess the near-infinite power of the last batch, but they’re crafty and they just might take over the world anyway.

Contest #81: Lex Luthor (DC) vs. Doctor Doom (Marvel)

Lex Luthor is Superman’s biggest nemesis, a villain who is smart enough to stand toe-to-toe with the Man of Steel without having any super powers whatsoever. Despite being a major baddie, he became President of the United States of America. Dr. Doom is the Fantastic Four’s biggest nemesis, a super-smart, super-powerful villain and ruler of the fictional European nation of Latveria. Classically coolest: Doctor Doom. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Lex Luthor. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: Lex Luthor. Did I mention he was the President? That trumps ruler of Latveria any day!

Contest #82: Ra’s al Ghul (DC) vs. Red Skull (Marvel)

Ra’s al Ghul is one of Batman’s most persistent enemies, the seemingly immortal head of the League of Assassins. The Red Skull is one of Captain America’s most persistent enemies, the seemingly immortal head of Hydra. Classically coolest: Red Skull. Most badass: Ra's al Ghul. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Ra's al Ghul. Most compelling character: Ra's al Ghul. Overall winner: Ra’s al Ghul.


Contest #83: Sinestro (DC) vs. Magneto (Marvel)

Sinestro is a former Green Lantern whose differing moral views have led him down a different path. He can control the yellow energy of fear. Magneto is a mutant and sometime ally of the X-Men, whose differing moral views have led him down a different path. He can control any metal object. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: Magneto. Most firepower: Sinestro. Most heart: Magneto. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: Magneto.


Contest #84: Professor Hugo Strange (DC) vs. Kingpin (Marvel)

Hugo Strange is a creepy, bald crime lord who wears big-rimmed glasses. He was smart enough to figure out Batman’s secret identity and use it against him. The Kingpin is a beefy, bald crime lord who wears white suits. He was smart enough to figure out Daredevil’s secret identity and use it against him. Classically coolest: Kingpin. Most badass: Kingpin. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Kingpin. Overall winner: Kingpin.


Contest #85: Mongul (DC) vs. The Mandarin (Marvel)

Mongul is an alien overlord with vast powers and a racially insensitive name. The Mandarin is an Iron Man archenemy with ten magic rings and a racially insensitive name. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: The Mandarin. Most firepower: Mongul. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: The Mandarin. Overall winner: The Mandarin.


Contest #86: Hector Hammond (DC) vs. The Leader (Marvel)

Hector Hammond is a villain with a giant head who uses his genius, telepathy and telekinesis to fight Green Lantern. The Leader is a villain with a giant green head who uses his genius, telepathy and telekinesis to fight the Hulk. Classically coolest: The Leader. Most badass: The Leader. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: The Leader. Most compelling character: The Leader. Overall winner: The Leader.


Contest #87: Penguin (DC) vs. Doctor Octopus (Marvel)

The Penguin is a brilliant (but out of shape) criminal mastermind who uses trick umbrellas to fight Batman. Doctor Octopus is a brilliant (but out of shape) scientist who uses telescopic robotic prostheses to fight Spiderman. Classically coolest: Doctor Octopus. Most badass: Doctor Octopus. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Doctor Octopus. Overall winner: Doctor Octopus.


Contest #88: Scarecrow (DC) vs. Mysterio (Marvel)

The Scarecrow has a scary mask and uses fear gas to incapacitate his opponents. Mysterio is a special effects master who uses illusions to make his opponents lose their grip on reality. Classically coolest: Mysterio. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: Mysterio.


Contest #89: Gorilla Grodd (DC) vs. Baron Zemo (Marvel)

Gorilla Grodd is a genius, telepathic gorilla with plans to conqueror the world. Baron Zemo is a genius neo-Nazi with a ski mask permanently attached to his face who plans to conqueror the world. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Gorilla Grodd. Overall winner: Gorilla Grodd.


Contest #90: Brainiac (DC) vs. MODOK (Marvel)

Brainiac is an evil alien robot with incredible intelligence who tussles with Superman on occasion. MODOK (Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing) is an evil mutant with a giant head and incredible intelligence who wrecks a little havoc in the world on occasion. Classically coolest: Brainiac. Most badass: Brainiac. Most firepower: Brainiac. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: Brainiac.


Round ten score: A small gain for Marvel – DC 4, Marvel 6. Cumulative score: DC 42, Marvel 48.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Super summer showdown, round eight: the masters of evil

In the last round, we shifted from heroic to slightly shady, and now we plunge head-first into evil. These villains are the most powerful in their respective universes, mad despots who want to conquer and / or consume the world.

Contest #71: Darkseid (DC) vs. Apocalypse (Marvel)

Darkseid is the ruler of the planet Apokalips, who uses his god-like power and devastating Omega Beam to try to rid the universe of free will. Apocalypse is an immortal mutant who uses his god-like power and alien technology to conquer the Earth. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: Darkseid. Most firepower: Darkseid. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Darkseid. Overall winner: Darkseid.

Contest #72: Anti-Monitor (DC) vs. Dormammu (Marvel)

The Anti-Monitor was a threat to the entire Justice League, who obliterated the Multiverse, leaving only one out of an infinite number of universes remaining. Dormammu is Doctor Strange’s main baddie, a demon of enormous power whose has caused entire other dimensions to be swallowed up by his own, thereby increasing his dominion and power. Classically coolest: Dormammu. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: Anti-Monitor. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: Anti-Monitor.


Contest #73: Despero (DC) vs. Stryfe (Marvel)

Despero is a cool, demonic-looking alien tyrant with phenomenal power who tries to conquer Earth. Stryfe is a mutant clone from the future with phenomenal power who conquers Earth in the future and travels back in time to try to conquer it in the present. Classically coolest: Despero. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: Despero.


Contest #74: General Zod (DC) vs. Thanos (Marvel)

Zod is a villain from Superman’s home planet Krypton. He has much the same powers as Superman and tries to use them to conquer Earth. Thanos is an alien who uses the magic Infinity Gauntet to try to destroy half the universe. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: Thanos. Most heart: Thanos. Most compelling character: Thanos. Overall winner: Thanos.


Contest #75: Parallax (DC) vs. Dracula (Marvel)

Parallax is the embodiment of fear, a bug-like alien energy creature who poses a major threat to the Green Lantern Corps. Dracula is Dracula. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: Parallax. Most heart: Dracula. Most compelling character: Parallax. Overall winner: Parallax. Marvel actually does a pretty good job modernizing the king of all vampires, but Dracula is still done to death. Originality wins.


Contest #76: Trigon (DC) vs. Mephisto (Marvel)

Trigon is a four-eyed demon, the father of hero Raven, and a thorn in the side of the Teen Titans. Mephisto is the demon who created Ghost Rider and a constant thorn in the side of the Silver Surfer, Thor and others. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Mephisto. Overall winner: Mephisto.


Contest #77: Kanjar Ro (DC) vs. Kang the Conqueror (Marvel)

Two aliens without superpowers of their own, both of whom use advanced technology to try to conquer Earth. Kanjar Ro is notable for his big nose. Kang is notable for his awesomely tacky costume. Classically coolest: Kang. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Kang. Overall winner: Kang the Conqueror.


Contest #78: Black Adam (DC) vs. Mister Sinister (Marvel)

Black Adam is a former Captain Marvel who turned evil but kept his vast magic powers. He has pointy ears, so you know he’s evil. Mister Sinister is a scientific genius and genetically modified super being with vast power. His last name is “Sinister,” so you know he’s evil. Classically coolest: Black Adam. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: Black Adam. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Black Adam. Overall winner: Black Adam.


Contest #79: Eclipso (DC) vs. Baron Mordo (Marvel)

Eclipso is a version of the Spectre that turned evil. Baron Mordo is an evil version of Doctor Strange. Classically coolest: Eclipso. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: Eclipso. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Baron Mordo. Overall winner: Eclipso.


Contest #80: Imperiex (DC) vs. Galactus (Marvel)

Imperiex is the embodiment of entropy, who consumes many planets before being beaten back from Earth. Galactus is the Devourer of Worlds, a cosmic being of enormous power who must consume planets in order to survive. He has been beaten back from Earth on many occasions, but always returns… Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: Galactus. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Galactus. Overall winner: Galactus.


Round nine score: A small gain for DC  DC 6, Marvel 4. Cumulative score: DC 38, Marvel 42.

P.S. It is purely a cooincidence that this posted on 6/6 at 6 AM...

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Super summer showdown, round seven: the anti-heroes

The heroes in this round aren’t always the most heroic. In fact, they can be downright nasty. Some have been known to dabble in crime. Some of them are mercenaries, who offer their services to the highest bidder, right or wrong. Others are vigilantes, who operate above the law. And some are just plain unhinged.

Contest #61: Lobo (DC) vs. Wolverine (Marvel)

Wolverine is Marvel’s most popular character, a mutant with extraordinary healing abilities, heightened senses and razor-sharp claws. He’s undeniably a good guy, but he lives on the edge. In is own words: “I’m the best there is at what I do, but what I do isn’t very nice.” Lobo started as a parody of Wolverine, and that pretty much describes him: a space biker with extraordinary healing abilities, heightened senses and super strength. Classically coolest: Wolverine. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: Lobo. Most heart: Wolverine. Most compelling character: Wolverine. Overall winner: Wolverine.

Contest #62: Catwoman (DC) vs. Black Cat (Marvel)

Catwoman is one of Batman’s greatest foes. And love interests. In recent years, she has shifted from burglary to vigilantism, but she still operates in a different moral realm than Batman. Black Cat is a shameless rip-off of Catwoman. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Catwoman. Overall winner: Catwoman.


Contest #63: Catman (DC) vs. Sabretooth (Marvel)

Catman (no relation to Catwoman) is a former supervillain turned antihero. He’s a trained fighter, hunter and tracker who uses razor-sharp claws in battle. Sabretooth is a mutant with similar powers to Wolverine, including razor-sharp claws. Although he has fought on the same side as Wolverine at times, he lacks Wolverine’s moral compass. Classically coolest: Sabretooth. Most badass: Sabretooth. Most firepower: Sabretooth. Most heart: Sabretooth. Most compelling character: Sabretooth. Overall winner: Sabretooth.


Contest #64: Etrigan the Demon (DC) vs. Ghost Rider (Marvel)

Etrigan is a scaly, orange demon from Hell who is bound to the human Jason Blood. Because of Blood’s influence, Etrigan is able to suppress his normal violent nature and fight for good. Well, sometimes. Ghost Rider is human Johnny Blaze, who sold his soul to the demon Mephisto in order to save a friend’s life. (The friend then died from other causes. Never make a deal with the devil!) As a result, Blaze was cursed and became the Spirit of Vengeance, transforming into a flaming skeleton who rides a motorcycle and punishes the wicked. Mega-points for that image alone, but points off for the lame Nicholas Cage movie. Classically coolest: Ghost Rider. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: Etrigan. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Ghost Rider. Overall winner: Ghost Rider.


Contest #65: The Question (DC) vs. The Punisher (Marvel)

The Question is a Batman-style detective who isn’t afraid to take the law into his own hands. The Punisher is a vigilante who fights fire with firepower. Classically coolest: The Punisher. Most badass: The Punisher. Most firepower: The Punisher. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: The Punisher. Overall winner: The Punisher.


Contest #66: Huntress (DC) vs. Elektra (Marvel)

The Huntress is a purple-clad vigilante who uses a crossbow to fight crime. Elektra is a red-clad ninja who uses twin sai swords as a mercenary assassin, and has been known to spar with her on-again / off-again love interest Daredevil. Classically coolest: Elektra. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Elektra. Overall winner: Elektra.


Contest #67: Star Sapphire (DC) vs. Emma Frost (Marvel)

Star Sapphire is like a female Green Lantern, except in purple, and she’s been romantically linked with Green Lantern Hal Jordan at times, although she’s just as likely to fight him. Emma Frost is a mutant telepath who can also turn her skin to diamond for some reason. She’s been an X-Man, but seems to like fighting the X-Men more. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Emma Frost. Most compelling character: Emma Frost. Overall winner: Emma Frost.


Contest #68: Talia al Ghul (DC) vs. Mystique (Marvel)

Talia al Ghul is the daughter of one of Batman’s greatest enemies, Ra’s al Ghul, and a member of the League of Assassins. Oh, and she’s also the mother of his son. Mystique is a mutant shapeshifter who splits her time between the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. Oh, and she’s also the mother of X-Man Nightcrawler. Classically coolest: Mystique. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Talia al Ghul. Overall winner: Talia al Ghul. I mean, seriously, she had Batman’s baby. That’s almost a superpower in itself!


Contest #69: Bane (DC) vs. Abomination (Marvel)

Bane is criminal mastermind who was able to deduce Batman’s secret identity, sneak into his Batcave, and break the Dark Knight’s back. (It didn’t hurt that he was all hopped up on the magic steroid Venom, which gives him super strength.) However, since then he’s made amends with Batman and moved into more of an anti-hero role. The Abomination was a KGB spy who zapped himself with gamma radiation to turn himself into an evil version of the Hulk. He later repented and became a hero of sorts before being killed. Classically coolest: Abomination. Most badass: Bane. Most firepower: Abomination. Most heart: Bane. Most compelling character: Bane. Overall winner: Bane.


Contest #70: Deathstroke the Terminator (DC) vs. Deadpool (Marvel)

Deathstroke is one of DC’s most interesting characters, a one-eyed assassin named Slade Wilson who is in peak physical condition (thanks to military experiments a la Captain America), skilled in martial arts and weapons, and possesses extraordinary healing abilities. Deadpool is a blatant rip-off: a two-eyed (but disfigured and slightly insane) mercenary named Wade Wilson who is in peak physical condition (thanks to military experiments by the Weapon X program), skilled in martial arts and weapons, and possessing extraordinary healing abilities. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: Deadpool. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Deadpool. Overall winner: Deadpool. Yes, he’s an acknowledged rip-off, but the “Merc with a Mouth” has been so cleverly written over the years as to surpass the original. His best bit has been breaking down the “fourth wall” and acknowledging the readers directly, which the other characters chalk up to his insanity.


Round seven score: Marvel has a way with anti-heroes – DC 3, Marvel 7. Cumulative score: DC 32, Marvel 38.