Thursday, December 1, 2011

If the mascots ruled the Major Leagues

Major League Baseball recently decided to move the Houston Astros franchise from the National League Central division to the American League West. It's not the best move they could have made, but it does even things out a bit.

Still, Houston has always been a National League town, and in baseball, that kind of tradition is a sacred thing. The move is also unsettling, because it requires interleague play every day of the season.

Then I got to thinking: well, why not just throw all tradition out the window. And so I did just that, rearranging the leagues along thematic lines. (If this seems to fly in the face of geographic sense, just remember that Atlanta and San Francisco were in the same division for decades.)


Diamond Division: Athletics, Dodgers, Reds, Red Sox, White Sox
The team names in this division all pay tribute to the game's roots.

Pride Division: Braves, Indians, Nationals, Phillies, Yankees
This division contains teams that pay tribute to various identities.

Wheelhouse Division: Brewers, Mariners, Padres, Pirates, Rangers
This division pays homage to the working people of America. (And also pirates.)


Fly Division: Angels, Astros, Blue Jays, Cardinals, Orioles
These team names all denote things that fly, just like a well-hit baseball.

Grand Division: Giants, Mets, Rockies, Royals, Twins
These team names represent big things.

Wild Division: Cubs, Diamondbacks, Marlins, Rays, Tigers
These teams all use wild animals as their mascots.

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