Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Super summer showdown, round ten: crooks and thugs

You know, sometimes a villain doesn’t have to be a galaxy-conqueror to be fun. Sometimes, all he has to have is a bad attitude and a gimmick.

Contest #91: The Shark (DC) vs. The Rhino (Marvel)

The Shark is a mutated shark in humanoid form (which, for some reason, means his dorsal fin is on his head instead of his back) with telepathy, the ability to shoot energy bolts and a host of other powers. The Rhino is a dimwitted bruiser with a rhino suit permanently affixed to his skin, giving him enough super strength to tussle with the Hulk, plus some wicked horns on his head. Classically coolest: The Rhino. Most badass: The Rhino. Most firepower: The Shark. Most heart: The Rhino. Most compelling character: The Rhino. Overall winner: The Rhino – an underappreciated villain if there ever was one!

Contest #92: Bizarro (DC) vs. Carnage (Marvel)

Bizarro is a twisted version of Superman (actually a clone) with similar powers. Carnage is a twisted version of Spiderman (actually an alien) with even stronger powers. Classically coolest: Bizarro. Most badass: Carnage. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Bizarro. Most compelling character: Bizarro. Overall winner: Bizarro.


Contest #93: Man-Bat (DC) vs. Vulture (Marvel)

Man-Bat is a half-man, half-bat mutation with webbed arms that let him fly. The Vulture is a bald human crook that uses a feathered super suit to fly. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Vulture. Overall winner: Vulture.


Contest #94: Cheetah (DC) vs. Lady Deathstrike (Marvel)

In recent years, the Cheetah has gone from just being a woman in a costume to having super powers rivaling those of her arch-enemy Wonder Woman. But she’s still basically a woman in a cheetah costume. Lady Deathstrike is a mutant with powers similar to Wolverine, with long, razor sharp fingernails. Classically coolest: Cheetah. Most badass: Lady Deathstrike. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Cheetah. Most compelling character: Cheetah. Overall winner: Cheetah. Sometimes the simple ideas are the better ones.


Contest #95: Mister Freeze (DC) vs. Electro (Marvel)

Mister Freeze is a scientist whose body was mutated by chemicals so that he can only survive at sub-zero temperatures. He wears a special suit to keep himself cold and uses a freeze gun. Electro is a master of electricity who gained his powers after being struck by lightning while working on a power line. (For you and I, that would give us the mystical power of being dead.) Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: Electro. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: Mister Freeze. Most compelling character: Mister Freeze. Overall winner: Mister Freeze.


Contest #96: Solomon Grundy (DC) vs. The Sentinels (Marvel)

Solomon Grundy is the ultimate super-zombie, who keeps coming back no matter how many times you kill him. The Sentinels are mutant hunting robots, who keep coming back no matter how many times the X-Men dismantle them. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: Solomon Grundy. Most firepower: The Sentinels. Most heart: Solomon Grundy. Most compelling character: Solomon Grundy. Overall winner: Solomon Grundy.


Contest #97: Amazo (DC) vs. Super-Skrull (Marvel)

Amazo is a pointy-eared android who can mimic the powers of any superhero. The Super-Skrull is an alien shape shifter who can mimic the powers of any member of the Fantastic Four. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: Amazo. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Amazo. Overall winner: Amazo.


Contest #98: Deadshot (DC) vs. Bullseye (Marvel)

Two assassins for hire that never miss. Both are skilled in a wide variety of weapons. Bullseye gets bonus points for slitting a man’s throat with a well-aimed playing card. Also, he killed Elektra in front of Daredevil. (She didn’t stay dead, of course.) Classically coolest: Bullseye. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: tie. Overall winner: Bullseye.


Contest #99: Doomsday (DC) vs. Juggernaut (Marvel)

Doomsday is a Kryptonian monster, a virtually unstoppable force that desires only to kill. He and Superman once beat each other to death. (They didn’t stay dead, of course.) The Juggernaut is a man who possesses a magic gem that makes him a truly unstoppable force. In addition to super strength and invulnerability, once in motion he cannot physically be stopped against his will. Not by anything. Classically coolest: Juggernaut. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: Juggernaut. Overall winner: Juggernaut. Killing Superman is pretty impressive, but the Juggernaut is more awesome still.


Contest #100: Killer Croc (DC) vs. The Lizard (Marvel)

Killer Croc is a human villain with a mutation that has progressively turned him reptilian: starting as just scaly skin and eventually including super strength, regeneration and other abilities. The Lizard is a surgeon who developed a serum from reptiles to grow back his severed arm. The serum worked, but unfortunately turned him reptilian in the process, giving him super strength, regeneration and other abilities. Oh, and a burning hatred for humankind. Classically coolest: tie. Most badass: tie. Most firepower: tie. Most heart: tie. Most compelling character: The Lizard. Overall winner: The Lizard.


Round eleven score: This round was even – DC 5, Marvel 5. Cumulative score: DC 47, Marvel 53.

One round to go!

2 comments:

  1. Rhino crushes shark.
    bizzaro evapourates carnage.
    man-bat tosses vulture around like garbage.
    lady deathstrike skins cheetah and keeps her as a fur coat.
    mr. freeze punches electro into submission, then freezes him.
    solomon grundy would dismantle the sentinels, over and over again.
    amazo beats super-skrull twice.
    deadshot shoots bullseye's projectiles out of the skys, then shoots bullseye.
    doomsday obliterates juggernaut without even knowing he did.
    killer croc kicks the HELL out of lizard, then eats him.

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    1. What a DC Fanboy lmfao

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