Canada issues world's first zombie combat instructions

While the U.S. government sits idly by, other nations around the world are taking the threat of the inevitable zombie apocalypse seriously. Perhaps made nervous by the efforts of its neighbor to the south to weaponize zombies, officials in Canada have undertaken a serious, scientific study of how best to combat the coming undead menace.

The study has just been published in the new academic book Infectious Disease Modelling Research Progress by Nova Publishers. Here is an actual quote from chapter four:

An outbreak of zombies is likely to be disastrous,
unless extremely aggressive tactics are employed against the undead. It is imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly, or else we are all in a great deal of trouble.

The book cautions that we must be prepared. Growing from a single zombie, it would take only about three hours for the undead to outnumber the surviving humans in a city of 500,000. The authors conclude that "Only sufficiently frequent attacks, with increasing force" can save us all from "an outbreak of zombies [that] will result in the collapse of civilization, with every human infected, or dead."

Thank God the Canadian army is now hard at work preparing to meet that "doomsday scenario." All I can say is that when the zombie apocalypse comes, I'm swimming across the Detroit River into Windsor.

The full article can be found here.

Ten simple things I love to order out

Cut and paste this into a Facebook note with your own list, then tag a bunch of friends (go ahead, they like it - that's why they're on Facebook!), so they'll do the same.

Here are the rules: list the top ten things (in no particular order) that you love to order in a restaurant to eat or drink. [Full disclosure: I totally stole this list idea from my girlfriend...]

• Single malt Scotch (preferably one I've never tried before)
• Bone-in ribeye (runner-up steak: Fillet Mignon)
• Chianti (or any other quality red wine)
• Pad Thai (chicken and/or shrimp, medium spice)
• Pan-seared sea scallops (seafood in general: very, very good)
• Greek salad (go light on the dressing and feta, but don't skimp on the beets)
• Grilled pork cutlet (this takes skill to prepare without making it too dry)
• Indian food (best to order small plates of a variety of dishes)
• Omelet (western is the best, and the quality of the cheese is vital)
• Iced tea (good and strong, no sweetener or lemon)

All of the above prepared gluten-free, of course! There would be some pasta dishes above if I could still eat gluten - not to mention Käsespätzle (German cheese dumplings). (Mmmm... poison...)