Star Wars: Chopped & Ranked

Regarding my recent Star Wars movie reviews, "madscientist" asks:

The question everyone wants to know is what order would you put all three of them in. Or maybe, if you broke each of the movies in two (since most are easily broken in two), how would you rank them. For example, would Return of the Jedi be above or below Revenge of the Sith? Obviously, The Empire Strikes Back would be number one. A New Hope would be number two. The first part of Return of the Jedi would be number three, but the last part might be near the bottom (just above any scene with Jar Jar). Anyways, you get the point.

He is absolutely right, of course: no matter how you do it, Empire ends up #1 and A New Hope #2. If I have to rank the movies as a whole, I would put them in this order:

1. Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) *****
2. Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) *****
3. Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi (1983) ****
4. Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith (2005) ****
5. Episode II - Attack Of The Clones (2002) ***
6. Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) **

If I get the flexibility to split them up, then I would keep the bulk of Episode VI where it is, as madscientist suggests, but the teddy bear parts would drop way down the list:

1. Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back: second half ("Luke, I am your father" and "I love you!" "I know.")
2. Episode IV - A New Hope: first half ("You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor" and "It's too big to be a space station")
3. Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back: first half ("I'd rather kiss a wookiee." and "Never quote me the odds!")
4. Episode IV - A New Hope: second half ("Luke, we're gonna have company!" and "The Force is strong with this one")
   
   [big gap]
5. Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi: the first half ("Boba Fett - where?!") and the assault on the Death Star from the second half ("Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station!")
   
   [bigger gap]
6. Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith: first half ("I've been trained in your Jedi arts by Count Dooku" and "So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause")
7. Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith: second half ("Twisted by the dark side, young Skywalker has become" and "Anakin, you're breaking my heart!")
8. Episode II - Attack Of The Clones: first half ("I hate it when he does that" and "They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals!")
9. Episode II - Attack Of The Clones: second half ("I call it aggressive negotiations" and "The war has begun...")
10. Episode I - The Phantom Menace: second half ("Always two there are: no more, no less" and "Promise me you will train the boy")
11. Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi: any scene with Ewoks ("It's against my programming to impersonate a deity")
12. Episode I - The Phantom Menace: first half ("Me-sa your humble servant" and "there's always a bigger fish")

Speaking of quotes, by the way, my son pointed out that everyone in Star Wars says: "I've got a bad feeling about this."